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User OriginPulse

Member for: 2 years (since Apr 21, 2020)
Type: Editor
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Gender: Male
Country: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Favorite Pokémon: Primal Kyogre
Friend Codes: skill issue
About me: Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you.

Activity by OriginPulse

Score: 10,740 points (ranked #41)
Questions: 96 (91 with best answer chosen)
Answers: 587 (186 chosen as best)
Comments: 1,309
Voted on: 22 questions, 285 answers
Gave out: 281 up votes, 26 down votes
Received: 702 up votes, 15 down votes

Wall for OriginPulse

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Pogo

Live A Live
Jun 24 by Yuya the Goggles
XD
Jun 19 by Yuya the Goggles
Theory: you are a blond guitar-playing kid who attempts to do kickflips and whose dad is fighting in a war.
Jun 19 by Yuya the Goggles
Karate Gau

Fifty Shades of Gau

The Adventures of Gau

GAU'S QUEST FOR WORLD DOMINATION (in all caps)
Jun 15 by Yuya the Goggles
I ate your shiny
Jun 14 by BM™
OH MY GOD AFTER ALL THIS TIME CONGRATS DANNY
Jun 14 by Yuya the Goggles
Congrats on the shiny
Jun 14 by -WhiteFire-
Bee Pen Dimension 10 - The Edgy Side of Dimensions


"Hey, bestie? What is this?" Shrew Cart asked, poking her food with a fork. In celebration of their victory, the crewmembers of the Good Ship Pogo were making a ton of food so that Strawberry Shortcake and her friends could stuff their faces all day and all night. The problem was that she wasn't there, and neither was Spooky Simp Snake Man. And also that the crewmembers had the cooking skill of two day old children. "No idea. Looks like mashed-up bananas mixed with split pea soup to me." Bee Pen said with a shrug. The cook glared at them. "Hey, this is high-quality food! I even seasoned it with salt water!" he said. Upon hearing this, Shrew Cart suddenly devoured all of it as if it was the best thing since fudge. Then she burped so loudly that the ship rattled, which Bee Pen somehow ignored. "So, uh... shouldn't we try to find Strawberry Shortcake and Spooky Simp Snake Man or something?" he asked. Shrew Cart's eyes widened and she jumped out of her seat, tripped over it, and had to stand up again. "You're right! Come on, bestie! Let's dimension-hop to it!" "But aren't there billions of dimensions? What are the chances we'll end up in the right one? And if we did somehow end up in the same dimension, what are the chances we'd even find them?" "Who cares? Let's just do it!" Shrew Cart insisted. "Great idea!" Bee Pen replied. Shrew Cart hugged him, and they dimension-hopped. They then gasped upon seeing the place they were in. It was a city, much like Pee Bensville, except it was covered in more grafitti and the sky was dark. It also looked partially destroyed. "What... what is this place?" "No clue, bestie." Bee Pen took a few steps forward, gazing at the city in stunned silence. However, the silence was broken by a very familiar voice. "Halt!" He jumped and turned toward Shrew Cart. "What is it?" "I-I didn't say anything!" she cried, looking around for the source of the voice. Before Bee Pen could mention that the voice sounded almost identical to hers, a girl approached them. She had hot pink hair like a flamingo that was multiple feet longer than she was tall, glittery bright red eyes that were redder than red blood and more glittery than glittery glitter, glow-in-the-dark plastic vampire fangs that were somewhat green, a magenta dress that flowed like water from a hose with holes in it that had splotches of red paint on it and reached down to her ankles, one pink and one black shoe, so much makeup that it almost hurt to look at her, blood red eyeliner, and cat ears. Bee Pen and Shrew Cart's jaws dropped simultaneously. Under all that makeup and dyed hair, she looked just like Shrew Cart, and sounded like her, too. "Shrew... Shrew Cart?" The other Shrew Cart immediately became angry. "DON'T CALL ME THAT! MY NAME IS CATHERINE MAG'ENTA ALZHEIMER'S GOOSE NORTHEAST!" she shrieked. Neither Bee Pen nor Shrew Cart could comprehend what she had just said, understandably. "Why do you look so much like me?!" Shrew Cart asked. Catherine looked at her and scoffed. "We look nothing alike, you preppy poser! I'm the most beautiful seven year old girl to ever walk the streets of Kansas!" Tears then started gushing from her painfully red orbs. "W-Why doesn't anyone understand me...?! I'm so h-h-horrible and... and PATHETIC!" she wailed. Then she stopped wailing for a moment to see if Bee Pen and Shrew Cart were pitying her. They weren't. So she glared at them and continued to wail, but was interrupted by a heavy sigh. A boy stepped out of the shadows. He had midnight-black hair in an emo hairdo that was partially tied around his absurdly large gold earrings for reasons unknown, coal-black eyes, a ripped-up ebony t-shirt, a pair of pants that was as dark as shadows, and shoes whose color resembled the color of my toothpaste, which is black. Bee Pen and Shrew Cart's jaws dropped again, as he looked vaguely like Bee Pen. "Oh god, who are you?" Bee Pen asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. The other Bee Pen sighed heavily again. "My name is Archibald Benson." he said emo-ly while attempting to brush his black hair out of his black eyes. "Um, bestie? I think we should leave now. These guys freak me out." Shrew Cart muttered. "Yeah, same here." Bee Pen replied. But before they could hug, Archibald Benson spoke up. "But the concert's just about to start." he said gothically. "Concert?" "Yeah. We were gonna listen to my top ten emo songs from every single emo band on the planet, but we decided it'd be better if Deathberry Bloodcake sung edgy Kirby songs instead." he replied edgily. "Uh... what?" "You should really come to the concert even though I hate you both! It's gonna be so cool!" Catherine exclaimed, her glittery red orbs glittering like bleeding stars on a moonless night. She then grabbed their wrists and started dragging them around with her superhuman strength, Archibald Benson following gothically. It wasn't long before they reached a stage, which was black and red and downright painful to look at. Catherine tied Bee Pen and Shrew Cart to their seats and sat down next to Archibald Benson, talking about how much she loved the flavor of hair dye. "This... escalated quickly. If only we'd dimension-hopped..." Bee Pen groaned, struggling in his chair. "Don't worry, bestie. What's the worst thing that could happen?" "We're stuck with them forever." he replied. Shrew Cart immediately started screaming and thrashing around in her chair. But then the two of them noticed the girl on stage. She had a bright red mowhawk with blood-red tips, blue eyes that revealed so much depressing sorrow and simpiness, and an outfit that nobody cares about enough to describe. She was also three feet tall, just like Strawberry Shortcake. She grabbed a microphone as Kirby music started playing. "NOW THAT I'VE STALKED YOU AND YOU'VE KILLED MEEEEEEEEEE, LET'S TALK ABOUT ALL OF OUR EMO MEEEEMORIES! HAND IN HAND, REMEMBER ALL THE EDGY DAAAAAYS WE HAD?! LIKE A DREAM, EVERY LITTLE THING MAKES ME MAAAAAAAAAAAD!" she shrieked into it, her voice sounding like she was out of breath and had a sore throat at the same time. At that moment, to his horror, Bee Pen knew it was going to be an absurdly long day.


To be continued...
Jun 8 by Yuya the Goggles
its morbin time (pisses pants)
Jun 8 by Yuya the Goggles
OriginPulse
2 hours from now
“You’re a simp hahahaha xd” vs. “I will take your life you psychotic disgusting fool!1!1!2!!1’wjwnwnwnnhwjeididjajj (pisses pants)”


I tried very hard not to laugh at that.

Failed miserably.
Jun 7 by Yuya the Goggles