User Dyla N

How tf can you type so well without seeing? Do you a have a browser extension that lets you speech-to-text or something?

Hi dyla! long time no talk. i saw your posts on fish's wall,  and if you don't mind me asking, what's your blindness called?
i'm asking because i recently found out i also have uncorrectable low vison that doesn't let me see faces very well, but it's not as bad as yours. it has me curious

The white hair was something I mentioned in the username change post I think.

Also I'd just bend the genie rules to allow me to grant my own wishes. I won't be held back like those other genies!

...or I could just find a jirachi. But it might be asleep. Does the Poke Flute work on jirachi...?

Yeesh fix your posture please! And I absolutely cannot be talking while saying that.

Also the fact that you thought I was around 15 is a little amusing. I'm a senior now (no, actually, I have some white hairs, I basically have a flowing white mane and the next thing I know I'll wake up tomorrow in a rocking chair with three grandchildren running around me), but yeah, I'm a senior now, and still as lost as ever. Not so fun fact, actually, if you were to see me type, you would've noticed I slowed down around "flowing white mane" because I was thinking about the grandchildren line I would use later and realized it's definitely a line I've used before, likely with my mild obsession and/or another friend. Mild obsession really knows how to get you in the most random moments.

Also also describing people as shadows and silhouettes (THAT'S how you spell that?!) is interesting. Someone needs to make a device that allows you to see, feel, and experience what other people do. Although something like that is unrealistic for humans currently, so perhaps I'll just become a genie and grant my own wish...

Oh yeah I should mention that I don't really stress trying to complete an assignment. If I have an assignment where I don't really feel like doing it or I just can't bring myself to do it I'll often just not, because I lack that certain degree of care needed for school.

I'm good, I saw your earlier posts but wasn't in a mood for socialize at the moments.

You did provide useful insight on how your visual impairments work. Although I must admit having to hold your phone that close to you doesn't sound great or comfortable for your eyes. I am still a bit curious on what you can actually see. Like is it really blurry or is it really dark or something? I don't know if you can describe it, since describing vision and lack of can be hard, but I'm curious nonetheless. Also you don't have to worry about ever being a bother to me.

I'd actually say my life is fine, there's a couple assignments I haven't exactly been the most motivated for, like this ode I have to write. Not my words but I apparently have all the material I need to write one, it's just that I can't settle in a topic. Nothing in particular sticks out all that much, and if something does stick out I usually find something negative about it that makes me go "can I really going to praise this?" or it's just something that happens in life that I notice or think about but isn't really something that's core to me or something I think I could write 20 lines about.

It's ironic because I can be a writer, I write in my notebook not all the time, but enough, and as you can tell here if something sticks out to me I can yap about it, even if I don't do it often and the majority of my yapping is self-centered or about my mild obsession. And as much as I lack the feelings for it I think an ode has to be imbued with feeling and passion; it's not enough to just pick an object or concept and uplift it but it has to have some sort of significant meaning. The project description said to celebrate or praise, it doesn't have to be something good that happened or a good object necessarily, it can be something minor that had a lasting impact on who you are, a moment that shaped you, an object that changed your perspective, I know that. But if I'm gonna write something, it has to be about something I want to write about, something I feel strong about, something that's shaped me in some way. Plenty of things have shaped me in some ways yes, but I also don't want to say "this game helped shaped my imagination" because at that point I'm praising my creativity and I'm not one to praise myself, I'm no god. I also don't want to uplift something like my feelings in particular moments, because it's like yes they shaped me or my lack of them in a particular situation saved me the potential stress of a situation when I realized I was better not involved than involved with no feelings but at the same time I have things like my mild obsession where feelings drove me to impulse and now I'm in a place where I'm obsessed without feeling, or I'm questioning if I care about friends and how it's defined when I think knowing you care is something that should come natural to most people but doesn't really to me, or situations like this where I recognize something is a passion project but I tend to lack incentive and passion myself, I'm apathetic. If I'm struggling with something now or it doesn't particularly shape me, what reason do I have to uplift it? It's not enough to just write about anything random. Writing without desire and feeling is just bleak.

To add to the irony of this with my memoir in 10th grade I was supposed to write 2 pages about my life and I wrote 9 pages about how someone impacted me and thanked her, recognizing that I appreciated her even if I didn't necessarily feel appreciation, but now, when I actually have to write a praise poem, I can't. I guess I'm just not one to typically praise things.

The other assignments are eh, one pissed me off (the Peg Dawson Richard Guare ones that tell you what skills you're good at, it remind me of personality tests, if you've ever taken either one and both of which I dislike with a certain degree of unpassion), and then there's a project which I'm fully capable of doing but I haven't locked in for it. Also unrelated but I didn't realize you were 28 wow. I thought you were slightly younger for some reason...

Unrelated but examples of self-awareness is when I just typed "I'll appreciate it" knowing dang well the extent of my reaction will be an "ahh, I see" or "interesting" and I won't actually feel appreciation, but I couldn't be bothered to scour the dictionary for a word that describes the idea of obtaining knowledge and being intrigued or fascinated by it without any real feelings of gratitude for the person giving that information.

Interesting, about you thinking you needed to come on here.

I guess with blindness, I want to know th extent of what people can and can't see. Usually with blindness I think a lot of us imagine seeing pitch black nothingness, but not all blindness is like that. I'm interesting in the extent of what blind people can see and perceive and how that affects how they do things. Like with your dictating. How does that work? How do you use a computer? Vision is one of those things that you can't really describe unless you've experienced it yourself and know what it's like, and even then it's hard to put into words (kinda like how you can't describe taste unless you compare it to things or have tasted similar foods). Whatever info you can give me, I'd appreciate it.

Working on complimenting people is something I've thought about but haven't put in any work to doing. Sometimes, you just look at a person's face or something and you just like them, there's nothing too specific about them that you like, you just like a random stranger's being. But how do you turn that into a compliment? Everyone exists, would the receiving person even view my words as a compliment?

On your comment (since I have a bad habit of yapping about me and not mentioning the other party), I do think there's no normal when it comes to people, even if society has a way of doing things. If anything, people who stick out are more interesting to me. Sometimes, I wonder what it's like living in the live of someone who has a weird quirk. How does it feel to break a bone or be blind, what do I see, what do I not see? How do I navigate life? What's the mindset of this particular person like? The hard part of life is that there's so much too experience yet we simply can't experience it all...

I don't really have anything else that's been on my mind that I can think of right now, actually. Those were just some of the main ones. But it's nice chatting with someone who I can share my thoughts with, and it's nice knowing about your life too (even if I have to decipher some bits lol).

 I wasn't really surprised to see you post on my wall. I can't quite put a finger on to why. I don't think I ever assume someone will never come back unless they specifically state it, but I also don't expect any one person to stay or leave. People come and go as they do, I don't really make anything out of it.

I'm glad somebody gets the compliment thing.
And I agree, conformity is lame. I try not to be a crowd follower when I can although I also don't want to stick out too much. Sometimes, you just have to adhere to society's established rules, especially with sayings that are about implied meanings rather than literal ones. Just because I deep dive into why a compliment is about the material object rather than the person doesn't mean people agree, deep dive into it like I do, or change the way they compliment. I guess sometimes, the only thing you can do is focus on what makes people feel noticed, even if the words you're saying don't carry any feelings or the literal meaning you would prefer it to.

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