Wall for TheRaptor (page 11)

[Episode 4]

Bee Pen Dimension 10 - Strawberry Shortcake's Dimension (Part 2)


The Good Ship Pogo slowly sailed through the deep blue sea. Meanwhile, Strawberry Shortcake spun the wheel a few times, simped for blue-haired boys, and randomly shot cannonballs at seagulls. Below deck, Bee Pen, Shrew Cart, Spooky Simp Snake Man, and Melony were contemplating their situation. "Well, I guess we're gonna kill some people." Bee Pen muttered with a shrug. "Seems like it, bestie!" Shrew Cart replied happily, because she liked death, being an edgy pre-teen and all. Spooky Simp Snake Man was still having that deep internal conflict. Melony said nothing because she was a fricking watermelon in a wig. So they just sat around for a while and did nothing because nothing was happening. But then they heard Strawberry Shortcake screaming Witch Doctor at the top of her lungs, and all the crew members rushed on deck. Bee Pen and his friends followed to see what was going on, and gasped dramatically when they saw another ship with cannons on it that was exactly as big as the Good Ship Pogo. The difference was, instead of having anime boy faces carved onto it, it had a sail with poorly-drawn art of some guy with dumb green hair on it. "What is that thing?!" Spooky Simp Snake Man shrieked. Strawberry Shortcake slowly and dramatically turned around. "The Lean Greens." she said, again, dramatically. "Wait, you mean... THE Lean Greens? The bad guys?!" Shrew Cart asked with wide eyes. "Yeah, those Lean Greens." a crew member said with a sigh. "All right, guys! Prepare for-" "NO!" Everyone turned to face the source of the voice, and promptly regretted it. The guy who had spoken had ugly green hair, a Rubik's Cube as an eyepatch (on both eyes), and was only wearing a pirate hat, his underwear, and socks. "What... the hell...?" Bee Pen choked. "Uh... moving on." Strawberry Shortcake said, and the green-haired guy continued to yell. "I AM CAPTAIN NETH AND YOU WON'T BEATETH MY LEEN GREANS! MY FEELINGS ARE REALLY OFFENDED BY THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T HAVE MY HAIR COLOR OR WHATEVER I'M MAD ABOUT BECAUSE GREEN HAIR IS TOTALLY HOT! SO YOU MUST DIE REALLY DIEDLY!" As he said that, hundreds of Lean Greens crowded onto the deck, and some of them jumped into the cannons. "WATER!" Captain Neth shrieked, thinking he was clever for not saying 'fire', and the cannons fired, launching waves of green-haired idiots onto the the Good Ship Pogo's deck. However, the blue-haired crew members casually kicked them and they fell off. Captain Neth screamed randomly and tore a chunk out of the sail with his teeth before eating it. Nobody knew why or wanted to know why. Infuriated, he started shoving all of his crew members into the cannons and attempted to shoot them at Strawberry Shortcake. However he missed every single time because he had Rubik's Cubes on his eyes. Then he got so angry at this that he wet himself and went below deck. "Well that was easy." Bee Pen said with a shrug. "SHUT UP YOU STOOPID MEENIE HED!" came the very annoying screech of Captain Neth. He was dragging some kid who looked like he hadn't eaten in a month by his foot. Said kid tried to escape, his three inch long fingernails scraping against the wood floor, but he got stuffed into a cannon despite his efforts. "MY FEELINGS WERE HURDED SO YOU MUST BE IN PAIN UNTIL I FEEL BETTER!" Captain Neth shrieked at Strawberry Shortcake. "That's... a little hard to pull off, since you kinda didn't hit me." she said. Captain Neth furiously had a seizure and fired the cannon at her, and the boy landed approximately two feet away from her. He looked up, and the moment he did, Strawberry Shortcake began to simp for him despite the fact that he had green hair and looked starved. Spooky Simp Snake Man got so jealous that he almost squeezed the juice out of Melony. He tried to shrug it off, because he simped for Melony now, not Strawberry Shortcake, or at least that's what he kept telling himself. The boy tried to run away from Strawberry Shortcake, but she hugged him, and of course, they both teleported away. "Oh frick." a crewmember groaned. Everyone else stared in stunned silence. "NOOOOOOOO! STRAWBERRY SHORTCAAAAAAAAAAKE!" Spooky Simp Snake Man suddenly wailed as if she'd died. He sobbed hysterically into Melony's wig, heartbroken. Captain Neth had no idea what had happened so he laughed evilly and danced stupidly before hitting his head on something and knocking himself unconscious. "Now what do we do, bestie?!" Shrew Cart asked, not noticing that Captain Neth was unconscious. "Eat ice cream?" "Oh, good idea!" Meanwhile, Spooky Simp Snake Man cried more as really sad music played. He glared at Melony. "This is all your fault! Thanks to you, I hid my true feelings from Strawberry Shortcake, and now... and now I might never be able to tell her how much I love her!" he yelled dramatically, as if he didn't simp for her on a daily basis. He angrily threw Melony into the sea as Captain Neth regained consciousness. He looked at the sea and saw Melony floating along, because watermelons apparently float now. "OHEMGEE I'LL SAVE YOU MS. HOT LEAN GREENETTE!" he shrieked, mistaking Melony for a Lean Green. His arms freakishly stretched to three hundred times their normal size and he pulled Melony onto his boat before smooching her. Spooky Simp Snake Man cried harder. Everyone else thought they were high. Then Spooky Simp Snake Man decided he'd had enough. He grabbed onto a rope that was apparently there for some reason and swung himself about sixty feet in the air. He dived directly at Captain Neth in slow motion while screaming "THIS IS FOR STRAWBERRY SHORTCAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" and landed a flying kick. Melony exploded, scattering watermelon everywhere, and Captain Neth's jaw fell off. Which, as you can expect, didn't phase him at all. However, the fact that he was knocked through his boat probably did. He frantically swam away, back to the Lean Greens' island, as the boat began to sink because it was filling with water. Strawberry Shortcake's crew cheered because Captain Neth had been defeated. Bee Pen and Shrew Cart cheered because Spooky Simp Snake Man had finally accomplished something. He took a bow, not noticing that the water was up to his neck. And by the time he did, he was underwater, which you'd think would be pretty easy to notice. Bee Pen sighed heavily. But just then, in a flash of blinding light, Strawberry Shortcake appeared, still hugging the starved green-haired boy from earlier. "Whoa, what happened?! Did we win?!" she asked, looking like she'd been traumatized for life. The boy squirmed out of her grip and dove into the water. Nobody knew where he was swimming to, but then again, nobody really cared. "Strawberry Shortcake! You're back! Again!" a crew member cried, and they all crowded around her like she'd done something. "Bee Pen?" she asked. "Yeah, we won. Spooky Simp Snake Man kicked that Neth guy's jaw off, but, uh... I think he-" Bee Pen suddenly cut himself off when he heard a strange sound. "Sthrburruh Shirpcihck...!" Everyone looked around for the source of the noise, eventually peering off the edge of the Good Ship Pogo. They all gasped when they saw Spooky Simp Snake Man climbing up the boat. "Spooky Simp Snake Man! You're okay!" Shrew Cart cried in astonishment. The second he got onto the deck, he hugged Strawberry Shortcake, who had been congratulating him for actually doing something. And then they disappeared. Everybody groaned again.


To be continued...

[Episode 5]

Bee Pen Dimension 10 - A Whole New World


In a flash of light, Strawberry Shortcake and Spooky Simp Snake Man were standing in the middle of the street. Which would be a bad thing if there were people driving by, as there weren't for whatever reason. "Huh? Hey, what happened?" Spooky Simp Snake Man asked, as if it wasn't the world's most obvious question. "Aw man! We just dimension-hopped! But I was gonna simp for that one guy more!" Strawberry Shortcake cried. As in she started crying. Then Spooky Simp Snake Man remembered how his deep internal conflict was gone, so he rejoiced and simped for her nonstop in the middle of a street as she sobbed hysterically. Then, a woman riding a motorcycle noticed the scene and stopped, luckily before she ran them over. Her eyes widened. "Well, I'll be..." Then she smirked, clenched her fists, and pulled out a gun as the camera panned dramatically. "It must be my lucky day." She sat there for a couple minutes, waiting for one of the simps to realize she was pointing a gun at them. But they didn't. "Hey, kid!" she finally yelled, and they both turned around. Their jaws dropped to the floor when they noticed the gun, and Spooky Simp Snake Man immediately ran away in a very manly fashion. While screaming. Evil Motorcycle Lady chased after him, leaving Strawberry Shortcake standing there and blinking. Realizing that he couldn't outrun a motorcycle on foot, Spooky Simp Snake Man ran into someone's yard and stole a hot pink tricycle that was clearly made for a girl who was about five years old, which would definitely let him escape. He put it on the road, somehow managed to sit on it, and started pedaling. Luckily, Evil Motorcycle Lady stopped so she could laugh so hard that she hurt without crashing her motorcycle into a tree. Unluckily, he couldn't get up the very small hill on his tricycle. After many failed attempts, he got off of the tricycle, picked it up, ran up the hill, and then rode it down the hill. And by the time Evil Motorcycle Lady remembered she was supposed to be chasing him, he was already about a block away. She said some very mean and bad curse words and resumed the chase. He eventually looked over his shoulder and saw that Evil Motorcycle Lady was gaining on him. "H-How can her motorcycle go so fast?!" he cried, astonished that a motorcycle was faster than a little girl's tricycle. Then his tricycle ran into someone's motorcycle. Spooky Simp Snake Man gulped and looked up to see some bald guy who was about eight feet tall on the aforementioned motorcycle. He grinned in an 'oh god please don't kill me' way. Evil Motorcycle Lady finished catching up with him, and he realized he was completely surrounded because he couldn't pedal his tricycle up a curb. He knew, he'd tried it. He started to scream and cry like a child who couldn't have any candy as Evil Motorcycle Lady got off of her motorcycle and approached him. She said something, but he was crying too loud to hear anything. "Don't worry, young civilian! I'LL save you!" a voice suddenly yelled dramatically, and Spooky Simp Snake Man shut up so he could see where it had come from. Evil Motorcycle Lady and Bald Man McGee looked around as well. "What?! Who's there?!" Evil Motorcycle Lady demanded. "Behind you!" She turned around, flinching as she was blinded by the sun. But atop a tree, there were two silhouettes of people who had somehow managed to stand on top of a tree at the same time, one of them being half the other's size. The short silhouette suddenly jumped incredibly high and landed in front of Evil Motorcycle Lady, who looked at him as if he was an actual threat and not a three foot tall kid with a cape. "W-Who are you?!" The short kid chuckled and posed dramatically. "I am... the Mighty Midget!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then they started laughing. Even Spooky Simp Snake Man was cracking up, and he had been crying hysterically only a few moments ago. "Now, Lettuce Senator!" Mighty Midget yelled. Before anyone could wonder what the heck a lettuce senator was, the second silhouette, who was no longer a silhouette, appeared out of nowhere and knocked out Bald Man McGee with one blow. Evil Motorcycle Lady's eyes widened, because Bald Man McGee had been eight feet tall. She glanced at Mighty Midget, whose cape was waving behind him in a superhero-y fashion, and growled. "All right, you might've defeated me this time, Mighty Midget, but I'll be back! So you had better go back to hiding under your blanket fort for a living, because as I just said, I'll be back!" she said before jumping on her motorcycle and driving away. Spooky Simp Snake Man jumped off his tricycle and ran over to Mighty Midget. "Y-You saved me! Thank you so much!" he cried. Mighty Midget grinned. "It was nothing. Saving innocent people is what I do." "Oh, get real! I'm the only one who actually did anything, you dummy!" Lettuce Senator snapped. Mighty Midget sighed. "Gerbil Desk, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: you have to control your temper." "Maybe I would if this wasn't so aggravating! Every single time someone's in trouble, you strike a dramatic pose and I do all the work! Like right now! I knocked out some huge guy in one hit, and this brat exclaims that YOU saved him! Even that stupid lady on the motorcycle says that YOU defeated her! But do I get any credit?! No, not ever! Everyone loves YOU because you're the 'adorable' younger brother who wears a cape! Because clearly that makes you a hero! I'm so tired of this whole thing! I wish you had actual superhero-related skills, because if you did, I could go off and be a hero on my own, but no, I have to babysit my little brother because he can't do much of anything on his own! And what do I get out of it?! Nothing but a bunch of stupid nicknames, because apparently Dark Sky just isn't cool enough!" Dark Sky ranted. Mighty Midget looked at him as if he was giving a lesson on why peanuts taste like peanut butter. Spooky Simp Snake Man stared at him for a second before turning back to Mighty Midget. "So, uh... who was that lady, anyway?" he asked. Mighty Midget looked around suspiciously as if there were actually people there who might overhear him. "Follow me. We'll discuss this whole thing back at headquarters." he said. Spooky Simp Snake Man picked up his tricycle and followed him as he dashed off, and Dark Sky followed as well, more stomping than walking.


To be continued...

[Episode 6]

Bee Pen Dimension 10 - The Edgy Side of Dimensions


"Hey, bestie? What is this?" Shrew Cart asked, poking her food with a fork. In celebration of their victory, the crewmembers of the Good Ship Pogo were making a ton of food so that Strawberry Shortcake and her friends could stuff their faces all day and all night. The problem was that she wasn't there, and neither was Spooky Simp Snake Man. And also that the crewmembers had the cooking skill of two day old children. "No idea. Looks like mashed-up bananas mixed with split pea soup to me." Bee Pen said with a shrug. The cook glared at them. "Hey, this is high-quality food! I even seasoned it with salt water!" he said. Upon hearing this, Shrew Cart suddenly devoured all of it as if it was the best thing since fudge. Then she burped so loudly that the ship rattled, which Bee Pen somehow ignored. "So, uh... shouldn't we try to find Strawberry Shortcake and Spooky Simp Snake Man or something?" he asked. Shrew Cart's eyes widened and she jumped out of her seat, tripped over it, and had to stand up again. "You're right! Come on, bestie! Let's dimension-hop to it!" "But aren't there billions of dimensions? What are the chances we'll end up in the right one? And if we did somehow end up in the same dimension, what are the chances we'd even find them?" "Who cares? Let's just do it!" Shrew Cart insisted. "Great idea!" Bee Pen replied. Shrew Cart hugged him, and they dimension-hopped. They then gasped upon seeing the place they were in. It was a city, much like Pee Bensville, except it was covered in more grafitti and the sky was dark. It also looked partially destroyed. "What... what is this place?" "No clue, bestie." Bee Pen took a few steps forward, gazing at the city in stunned silence. However, the silence was broken by a very familiar voice. "Halt!" He jumped and turned toward Shrew Cart. "What is it?" "I-I didn't say anything!" she cried, looking around for the source of the voice. Before Bee Pen could mention that the voice sounded almost identical to hers, a girl approached them. She had hot pink hair like a flamingo that was multiple feet longer than she was tall, glittery bright red eyes that were redder than red blood and more glittery than glittery glitter, glow-in-the-dark plastic vampire fangs that were somewhat green, a magenta dress that flowed like water from a hose with holes in it that had splotches of red paint on it and reached down to her ankles, one pink and one black shoe, so much makeup that it almost hurt to look at her, blood red eyeliner, and cat ears. Bee Pen and Shrew Cart's jaws dropped simultaneously. Under all that makeup and dyed hair, she looked just like Shrew Cart, and sounded like her, too. "Shrew... Shrew Cart?" The other Shrew Cart immediately became angry. "DON'T CALL ME THAT! MY NAME IS CATHERINE MAG'ENTA ALZHEIMER'S GOOSE NORTHEAST!" she shrieked. Neither Bee Pen nor Shrew Cart could comprehend what she had just said, understandably. "Why do you look so much like me?!" Shrew Cart asked. Catherine looked at her and scoffed. "We look nothing alike, you preppy poser! I'm the most beautiful seven year old girl to ever walk the streets of Kansas!" Tears then started gushing from her painfully red orbs. "W-Why doesn't anyone understand me...?! I'm so h-h-horrible and... and PATHETIC!" she wailed. Then she stopped wailing for a moment to see if Bee Pen and Shrew Cart were pitying her. They weren't. So she glared at them and continued to wail, but was interrupted by a heavy sigh. A boy stepped out of the shadows. He had midnight-black hair in an emo hairdo that was partially tied around his absurdly large gold earrings for reasons unknown, coal-black eyes, a ripped-up ebony t-shirt, a pair of pants that was as dark as shadows, and shoes whose color resembled the color of my toothpaste, which is black. Bee Pen and Shrew Cart's jaws dropped again, as he looked vaguely like Bee Pen. "Oh god, who are you?" Bee Pen asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. The other Bee Pen sighed heavily again. "My name is Archibald Benson." he said emo-ly while attempting to brush his black hair out of his black eyes. "Um, bestie? I think we should leave now. These guys freak me out." Shrew Cart muttered. "Yeah, same here." Bee Pen replied. But before they could hug, Archibald Benson spoke up. "But the concert's just about to start." he said gothically. "Concert?" "Yeah. We were gonna listen to my top ten emo songs from every single emo band on the planet, but we decided it'd be better if Deathberry Bloodcake sung edgy Kirby songs instead." he replied edgily. "Uh... what?" "You should really come to the concert even though I hate you both! It's gonna be so cool!" Catherine exclaimed, her glittery red orbs glittering like bleeding stars on a moonless night. She then grabbed their wrists and started dragging them around with her superhuman strength, Archibald Benson following gothically. It wasn't long before they reached a stage, which was black and red and downright painful to look at. Catherine tied Bee Pen and Shrew Cart to their seats and sat down next to Archibald Benson, talking about how much she loved the flavor of hair dye. "This... escalated quickly. If only we'd dimension-hopped..." Bee Pen groaned, struggling in his chair. "Don't worry, bestie. What's the worst thing that could happen?" "We're stuck with them forever." he replied. Shrew Cart immediately started screaming and thrashing around in her chair. But then the two of them noticed the girl on stage. She had a bright red mowhawk with blood-red tips, blue eyes that revealed so much depressing sorrow and simpiness, and an outfit that nobody cares about enough to describe. She was also three feet tall, just like Strawberry Shortcake. She grabbed a microphone as Kirby music started playing. "NOW THAT I'VE STALKED YOU AND YOU'VE KILLED MEEEEEEEEEE, LET'S TALK ABOUT ALL OF OUR EMO MEEEEMORIES! HAND IN HAND, REMEMBER ALL THE EDGY DAAAAAYS WE HAD?! LIKE A DREAM, EVERY LITTLE THING MAKES ME MAAAAAAAAAAAD!" she shrieked into it, her voice sounding like she was out of breath and had a sore throat at the same time. At that moment, to his horror, Bee Pen knew it was going to be an absurdly long day.


To be continued...

[Episode 7]

Bee Pen Dimension 10 - A Hero Is Born


"So, what's going on?" Spooky Simp Snake Man asked as he turned on a flashlight. Mighty Midget shushed him. "Do you want the whole neighborhood to overhear our secret meeting?" "We're in a basement, hiding under a blanket fort. Nobody is going to hear us." Dark Sky growled. Mighty Midget shushed him as well. "Onion Box, it's not a basement, it's our headquarters!" he said rather loudly. "Uh-huh. Sure." Ignoring his older brother, Mighty Midget turned to Spooky Simp Snake Man. "All right. You wanted to know about the lady who was trying to run you over or shoot you or whatever, right?" "That's right." Spooky Simp Snake Man replied. Mighty Midget took the flashlight from him so he could look dramatic. "She's a member of a cult." Silence fell over the basement. The only noise that could be heard was Spooky Simp Snake Man's jaw dropping. "Real detailed. Great job." Dark Sky said sarcastically and snatched the flashlight, then quickly continued before his brother could complain. "I've heard a lot about the cult she's a part of. I don't know how much of what people say is true, but it's rumored that this cult worships some freaky deity that some purple-haired idiot made up. They claim that this... thing will die, and everything will die with it, if they don't provide it with enough 'simp energy'." he explained. "Simp energy? What's that?" Spooky Simp Snake Man asked, reaching for the flashlight, which Dark Sky moved so it was just out of his reach. "How am I supposed to know? I'm assuming it's as stupid as it-" Suddenly, there was a knock on the door leading to the basement. "W-Who was that?" Mighty Midget asked after it stopped. "You really think I know?" Dark Sky grumbled. Spooky Simp Snake Man got up, crawled out of the blanket fort, and went to answer the door. Which took a while because he kept stumbling back down the stairs. He eventually returned, holding a piece of paper and looking pale. "What's it say?" Mighty Midget asked. Spooky Simp Snake Man jumped slightly before clearing his throat. "I-It says... 'dear Mighty Midget, we're c-coming to your basement at six PM today... and we're going to k-kidnap the simp you're hiding there... signed, Evil Motorcycle Lady'..." He gulped, terrified at the thought of being kidnapped by the motorcycle simp cult. "T-They're coming for... me!" he cried. Mighty Midget gasped, while Dark Sky groaned. "Thanks for the lesson, couldn't have figured that out myself." "We've got to do something!" Mighty Midget exclaimed. "Yeah. How about we call people who are actually capable of stopping that lunatic cult?" Dark Sky suggested. Mighty Midget looked at him like he was insane. "You need to have more confidence, Soup Lamp! We can handle them with ease!" he said, standing up and attempting to look like a superhero. Despite being in a dark basement under a blanket fort. Dark Sky was not convinced. "Oh, I've got it! Spooky Simp Snake Man, you have nothing to worry about!" Mighty Midget assured the trembling simp. Spooky Simp Snake Man, filled with confidence by his statement, didn't question how he knew his name. "What's your plan?" "We turn you into a superhero!" he said dramatically. Dark Sky's hand hit his face so hard that it echoed throughout the basement. "It takes years of training. You can't just put on a cape, sing some crappy theme song you made up in two seconds, and suddenly become a hero." "Yes you can!" "No you can't." As the two brothers bickered, Spooky Simp Snake Man suddenly remembered something. "Oh no... Strawberry Shortcake..." he whimpered. "Whoberry whatcake?" Mighty Midget asked, suddenly not arguing with Dark Sky anymore. "She... was with me when I first got here. She's a simp and... and very special to me-" "Oh god." "Don't interrupt him, TV Tissue!" Mighty Midget hissed at his brother. Spooky Simp Snake Man decided to continue before they started arguing again. "Since she's also a simp... what if that cult is after her too...?" Overwhelmed by sad emotions of sadness, he started crying hysterically. Dark Sky covered his ears. "Don't worry! We'll protect Strawberry Shortcake from that cult! Actually, once we make you a superhero, you'll be able to protect her yourself!" He immediately cheered up. "S-So how do you plan to make me a superhero?" he asked. "All right. Step one, you come up with a cool name for yourself. Step two, you get a really cool costume. Step three, you come up with an awesome theme song for yourself. And step four, we soup up your ride." Mighty Midget said hero-ly. Dark Sky sighed. "I would mention something about me being the only one here who knows anything about how to do that, but for god's sake, it's a tricycle. A pink tricycle." Mighty Midget rolled his eyes. "Come on, Sheep Car, you're my assistant! You're supposed to be more positive!" "Excuse me?!" Then Spooky Simp Snake Man stood up, possibly to stop another argument, slightly more confident than he'd ever been. "I... I wanna be a hero!"


To be continued...

[Episode 8]

Bee Pen Dimension 10 - On The Road Again


"ONE, TWO, THREE, AND MAYBE SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX! MAKING EDGY TEENAGERS AND WE'LL BE KILLING MORE!" As Deathberry Bloodcake edgily tap-danced on stage, her mohawk waving around wildly, Bee Pen's head slumped down. He had been forced to listen to the song on loop for about seventeen hours, and it was weakening his already loose grip on reality. Meanwhile, Shrew Cart started sobbing, worn out from all the shrieking and thrashing she'd been doing. Catherine Mag'enta Alzheimer's Goose Northeast glared at them, and Archibald Benson sighed depressedly. "ALL OF YOU BE QUIET! DEATHBERRY BLOODCAKE IS MY FAVORITE SINGER, YOU PREPS!" Catherine screeched, partially drowning out Deathberry Bloodcake as she sung about typical edgy emo stuff. "LET'S GRAB OUR KNIVES AND STAB TEDDY BEARS AND STUFF AND WRITE THE NAMES OF OUR EMO CRUSHES IN FAKE BLOOD!" "LIKE, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE EDGY DEATH MEMORIES WITH DEATHBERRY BLOODCAKE?! IT'S MY FAVORITE SONG! IT TOTALLY CAPTURES THE DEPRESSING SORROW AND EVILNESS OF BEING A GOTHIC VAMPIRE LIKE ME!" "UNDERNEATH YOUR DARK EMO BASEMENT, THAT'S WHERE WE'LL COMMIT REALLY AWESOME CRIMES, YOU AND ME!" "YOU JUST DON'T WANNA HEAR IT BECAUSE YOU'RE A BUNCH OF UN-EDGY UN-NOT-UNCOOL PEOPLE WHO HATE DEATHBERRY BLOODCAKE FOR EXPRESSING HER VERY DARK AND EDGY SELF!" "WHEN WE'RE WHINING BECAUSE PEOPLE HATE US, IT'S GO! THIS EDGY SONG FILLS MY BLADDER UP WITH PEE!" Just when Bee Pen was about to break his chair off and jump off the nearest bridge while hoping that the river would carry him to a less emo place, a boy suddenly leapt through the air, about four feet above his head, making an annoyingly loud sound that could make glass shatter. Catherine jumped out of her chair and stuck out her arms as if she was going to throw him like he was in a mosh pit or something. However, he missed her by a third of an inch and landed face-flat on the ground. Archibald Benson sighed gothically as Deathberry Bloodcake's horrifically bad music stopped. When the boy stopped whimpering and stood up, a spark of hope... sparked in Bee Pen. Despite the fake fur coat and lime green hair with red and black streaks that dragged along the ground similarly to Catherine's, he looked like Spooky Simp Snake Man. So desperate to get out of the nightmarish dimension he was in that he would even turn to Spooky Simp Snake Man to help him, and temporarily forgetting that he was surrounded by edgy versions of his friends and himself, he nudged Shrew Cart, who seemed to be having a mental breakdown, with his elbow. Her eyes widened as she looked up. "Spooky Simp Snake Man! You're here! How'd you- oh, never mind! Please get us out of here!" she pleaded. But the boy, who wore a name tag with 'Gothic Fanboy Reptile Guy' written on it, looked at her like she was the crazier one. "What are you talking about? My name is Emogo!" he said. At that moment, Bee Pen's single remaining bit of hope for humanity was ripped from him. Gothic Fanboy Reptile Guy went over to Deathberry Bloodcake and started simping for her, but she yelled at him for being off-key and late and fired him. He cried a lot. Bee Pen, deprived of all sanity, suddenly chewed through his ropes and started bashing the chair with a rock until it broke into a million pieces. Archibald Benson and Catherine's jaws dropped. Bee Pen then hugged Shrew Cart, and they dimension-hopped. After a moment of silence, Gothic Fanboy Reptile Guy turned to Deathberry Bloodcake. "You're still fired." she growled. He cried a lot. Again. Meanwhile, in a different dimension, the door of the garage that was attached to the house Mighty Midget had been squatting in opened. Some lights shone from the darkness, and an ice cream truck dramatically flew out into the street, playing that dingy music that ice cream trucks play. Right behind it was a hot pink e-tricycle, plugged into an outlet in the garage by a very long cord. And on that tricycle was a boy wearing a white onesie with pink hearts all over it and a large heart emblem thingy with 'SS' written in large reddish letters that strongly resembled strawberries. His hair waved in the breeze, and he took a deep breath. "I'm Supersimp, and I like to simp a lot! I'm Supersimp, and I like to simp a lot! I'm Supersimp-simp-simp-simp, Supersimp! I'm Super-Super-Super-Supersimp, Supersimp! Yeah, yeah, Supersimp!" Spooky Simp Snake Man sung to the tune of the ice cream truck melody in an extremely repetitive and annoying manner. Mighty Midget gave him a thumbs-up from the window of the ice cream truck, and he smiled before continuing. "Oh, I like to simp, I really love to simp a lot! Yeah, I'm a simp, which is totally something I don't say a lot! I'm really cool because simps are really cool! I like to simp, to gush, and to drool! I am Supersimp, yeah!" The two kids were so caught up with the theme song Spooky Simp Snake Man had come up with on the spot but pretended he'd come up with earlier that they didn't notice Evil Motorcycle Lady and Bald Man McGee's 7'11" son, Bald Man McJunior, tailing them. This time, Mighty Midget also took a deep breath as he joined in. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!" "I'm Supersimp!" Spooky Simp Snake Man sung, following his lead. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!" "I'm Supersimp!" "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh-" "HEY! ARE YOU TWO REALLY THIS STUPID?! EVIL MOTORCYCLE LADY'S TAILING US!" Dark Sky screamed at them from his really cool motorcycle. Both kids jumped, as they hadn't realized that he was there, but ignored him. "I am a simp, and my name is Supersimp!" "Yeah!" "I simp for fruit and strawberry gamer girls!" "Yeah!" "I'm the best simp, except for the girl that I simp for!" "Yeah!" "I'm a superhero, and to the cute anime girls out there: if you're lucky, I'll simp for you too!" "Oh yeah!" Spooky Simp Snake Man used his two non-simping braincells to try to come up with more lines for his 'amazing' theme song, but the plug that was plugged into his e-tricycle came out, and his e-tricycle fell on top of him as he hit the ground. He whimpered, and Dark Sky's face slammed into his handlebars as he slowed to a stop. "Supersimp!" Mighty Midget cried, poking his head out of the ice cream truck window as the melody continued to play. Suddenly, Bee Pen and Shrew Cart appeared in the middle of the road, completely confused. But before anyone could do anything, Evil Motorcycle Lady and Bald Man McJunior drove by, grabbing Spooky Simp Snake Man by his arms and narrowly missing Bee Pen and Shrew Cart. As Mighty Midget gasped, Evil Motorcycle Lady stuck her tongue out at her arch-nemesis and drove off into the distance. "Was that- was that Spooky Simp Snake Man? Bestie, what's going on?!" Shrew Cart shrieked to the equally-clueless Bee Pen, who shrugged. "You know Spooky Simp Snake Man?!" Mighty Midget asked, climbing out of the ice cream truck. "Uh, yeah. Who the heck are you?" "I'm Mighty Midget, and Supersimp- erm, Spooky Simp Snake Man is a friend of mine. We were on our way to stop this crazy simp motorcycle cult and rescue his girlfriend or... whatever we were doing, but they snatched him! Please, you gotta help!" he pleaded, sounding even less like a superhero than usual. Before Bee Pen could reply, he was shoved into the ice cream truck, and Shrew Cart quickly followed. "Come on, we're going to their secret hideout!" Mighty Midget said before zooming off. Dark Sky, thoroughly exasperated, followed after him and his newfound friends. "WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THEIR HIDEOUT IS!" he yelled from his motorcycle again. Bee Pen, broken by the day's events, passed out and dreamed about setting something on fire.


To be continued...

[Episode 9]

Bee Pen Dimension 10 - Spooky Simp Snake Man's Great Escape (Or Not)


When Spooky Simp Snake Man opened his eyes, he realized he had no idea where he was. Which wasn't new. He looked around and realized he was standing in a large tube in what looked like a laboratory. He banged on it with his fists and started screaming a lot. "HELP ME! HEY! HELP ME! WHERE AM I?! HELP ME! WHAT'S GOING ON?! HELP ME!" he cried, but it was in vain. As he started crying hysterically, loud violin music started playing and a door opened. Turning around to see what was going on, to his horror, he saw Evil Motorcycle Lady standing there. "E-Evil Motorcycle Lady...!" he gasped, realizing that this wasn't good. He watched as she went over to some futuristic console looking thing and tapped buttons and whatnot. The door closed. "You did this... you captured me!" Spooky Simp Snake Man exclaimed. Evil Motorcycle Lady laughed evilly and motorcyclely. "So you remember... good." "Let me out right now!" he yelled, banging on the tube again. "Or what?" Evil Motorcycle Lady asked, casually turning around. Spooky Simp Snake Man fell silent upon realizing he didn't know how to reply to that. So he went back to crying. "Oh, Strawberry Shortcake... I'm so sorry that I... that I won't be simping for you as much anymore..." he sobbed quietly. He remembered Melony, who had stolen his heart and made him even more of a weird simp, but he'd thrown away like the piece of fruit she was. He remembered the girl he'd simped for because she looked at him in a concerned way one day, but had turned down his confession. He remembered that other girl he'd simped for because she was sitting next to him at school so therefore love, but had moved to Japan upon hearing that he had a crush on her. He still needed to ask her how she felt. So many girls and fruit who he'd never be able to simp for again because he was stuck in a tube in god-knows-where. "Would you shut up back there?!" Evil Motorcycle lady yelled, getting sick and tired of Spooky Simp Snake Man's hysteric sobbing. So he shut up. For three seconds. "What do you want with me?!" he demanded. Evil Motorcycle Lady groaned. "We need to use you to feed our lord and savior, Annie May Simpinius, the simp energy she needs." Before Spooky Simp Snake Man could ask what in god's name that was, he suddenly heard a cracking sound. When he turned around to investigate, he realized that his constant pathetic sobbing and banging had cracked the tube. As it shattered, and Evil Motorcycle Lady's jaw hit the ground, he realized this was his opportunity to get out of there. He charged at Evil Motorcycle Lady, and she was too caught off-guard to stay standing and fell to the ground. Spooky Simp Snake Man quickly got up and started mashing buttons. However, he was sprayed in the face with hot coffee and hit over the head with an air freshener. As he tried to recover from the savage beating he'd gotten from a pine-tree shaped air freshener, Evil Motorcycle Lady suddenly picked him up like he was two and a half pounds and stupidly flung him at the console. Not only did he hit the bright red button with "OPEN/CLOSE DOOR" on it, but he also hit the lime green "RELEASE SIMPS" button. She realized just how stupid she'd been as a bunch of bewildered simps' tubes opened and they started running out the door. She shrieked angrily and shoved Spooky Simp Snake Man out of the way, pressing the button that closed the door. Unfortunately, by the time she did, Spooky Simp Snake Man was the only simp there. She started to cry as she realized just how much she hated her job. Spooky Simp Snake Man attempted to sit up, but Evil Motorcycle Lady suddenly pointed a squirt gun full of lemon juice at him. He shrieked and curled up in a fetal position as she stood over him threateningly, though beneath her sunglasses, she looked like she hadn't slept in a week. "All right. The other simps might've escaped, but..." An evil grin spread across her face. "Annie May Simpinius doesn't care how many people simp, as long as they simp enough." Spooky Simp Snake Man trembled, terrified of lemon juice, and hoped for a miracle. But just then, somebody lunged at Evil Motorcycle Lady. Caught off-guard again, as she thought all the simps had left the room, she started spraying lemon juice everywhere. As it touched the console, said console blew up and Evil Motorcycle Lady's hair caught fire. She screamed, ran around, and started rolling on the ground. When the fire was put out, she whimpered "I... hate this job..." and passed out. After Spooky Simp Snake Man's brain put together everything that'd just happened, he turned to face his rescuer. His jaw dropped. Standing in front of him was a girl with really long pink hair who was dressed like Ariel from The Little Mermaid, fake mermaid tail and all, which made him wonder how she walked. But more importantly in his mind, he found her beautiful for some ungodly reason. "You... you saved me... t-thank you..." he whispered, uncurling and slowly standing up. The girl's eyes widened. "You saved me first! I-I couldn't just stand there and let that mean lady hurt you!" she gushed, her voice sounding like a cat whose throat was filled with peanut butter purring. Spooky Simp Snake Man's nose bled. They gazed into each others' randomly colored eyes, simping heavily. "I'm... I'm Spooky Simp Snake Man." "Really? What a great name! My name is Bethanyetteianne Kangaroo, but you can call me B. Roo for short." she said flirtatiously. "Bethanyetteianne Kangaroo? That's a beautiful name..." Spooky Simp Snake Man murmured. They started at each other more and simped a lot. Then they smooched. But then Evil Motorcycle Lady regained consciousness and wished she hadn't. Spooky Simp Snake Man and Bethanyetteianne Kangaroo whirled around, somehow still smooching, eyes wide with horror. "I... am going... to kill you both..." Evil Motorcycle Lady rasped, so angry that she wanted to break a table over somebody's head. The two simps stopped smooching, and Bethanyetteianne Kangaroo clung to Spooky Simp Snake Man's arm, terrified. He gulped.


To be continued...

Hiya, I've updated your username for you :)

Live A Live has eight different stories, not counting the final one: Prehistory, Imperial China, Twilight of Edo Japan, The Wild West, Present Day, The Near Future, The Distant Future, and, finally, The Middle Ages. Each story has its own protagonist. Pogo is Prehistory's protagonist, for instance. The other protagonists are the Earthen Heart Shifu, Oboromaru, the Sundown Kid, Masaru Takahara, Akira, Cube, and Oersted. In addition, basically all the stories have some sort of thing that sets them apart from the others (excluding, you know, the time period, characters, location, plot, and so on). Akira can read minds, Masaru Takahara can learn certain moves from his opponents, Oboromaru can use Shadowed Self to hide himself outside-of-battle, and so on. Also, in the final story, the protagonists team up, if you didn't know from me mentioning that Aki was the first character I found in the Dominion of Hate. Oh yeah, fun fact: Pogo, Akira, and Yun Jou have always been in my party when I go to fight the final boss. I'm guessing that makes Yun my third favorite.

Live A Live also has amazing music. Go! Go! Steel Titan (the version without lyrics), Kiss of Jealousy (the name sounds lame but the song itself is great), Megalomania, Heroic Struggle, Cry-A-Live... good stuff, good stuff.

v pogo simp

Pogie is Pogie.

Or, in other words, Pogo, the lovable green-haired caveman from Live A Live. Sure, he may be weird, and his art looks like crap according to Bee Pen (I can't really confirm but I don't doubt it), but his sprite's plenty cute. A very similar case to Gau, who is pwecious and needs a wuggle. (clears throat) Anyway, Pogo is my favorite Live A Live character. If it wasn't for him, I might not've got the game. I thought it looked cool and all, but cute little Pogie really caught my attention (and reminded me of Gau so yeah).

While Pogie is my favorite Live A Live character, that doesn't mean I've forgotten about Aki (not to be confused with the actual character named Aki). At first, I thought Akira was annoying and foul-mouthed, and I wasn't particularly wrong. But as I played through the Near Future, I guess I started to like him a bit more. And when I played through the Dominion of Hate, the first character I happened to stumble across was Akira. After that, I just kinda got really attached to him. Not sure exactly how all that happened. One minute I hate him, the next I love him. But now the shirtless psychic boy is my second favorite character. And it's not just me! My mom said she thinks Aki's her favorite. Ain't that somethin'?