Sees: Hey, how did my phone break?
Giru: You were drunk yesterday.
Sees: And?
Danny: You threw it.
Sees: Why?
Spex: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!”
Sees: And why didn’t you stop me?!
Penston: We were busy laughing our asses off.
Giru: God, if only someone loved me…
Penston: *standing behind her with roses*
Spex: *holding box of chocolates*
Sees: *has balloons and a card*
Danny: *facepalms* This is sad.
Sees: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-
Sees, to Danny: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual.
Spex, to Giru: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire.
Penston: There are two types of people.
Giru: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?
Danny: Why?
Giru: Penston fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.
Spex: Sees doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he just throws salt at them and yells "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"
Spex: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Danny: Several traffic violations.
Giru: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Sees: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Penston: Also, that’s not our car.
Danny: I truly hate it here <3
Sees: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is it?
Giru: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is women?
Penston: Now replace “funny” with “women”. Not so women now, is funny?
Spex: I’m having a ******* stroke.
Giru: Now replace “stroke” with “baby”. Congratulations!
Penston: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?
Giru: IT.
Sees: Annabelle.
Danny: Paranormal Activity.
Spex: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.
Giru: Volt is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?
Sees: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.
Spex: Tackle him!
Penston: Dump him.
Danny: Kick him in the shin!
Volt: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Penston: Thanks fam!
Spex: Oh no.
Danny: *cries* I love you too.
Volt: Sounds fake, but okay.
Giru: *A flustered mess*
Sees: Can I get a refund?
Giru, about Danny: Can I tell him he looks nice?
Sees: Sure.
Giru: Can I tell him I respect him?
Sees: Maybe, if he asks.
Giru: Should I show him an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs?
Sees: …
Sees: I’d save that for later.
Giru: *heading out to see Danny*
Sees: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!
Giru: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.
*the Squad cleaning up*
Penston: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away.
Volt, to Giru: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—
Penston: Giru and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.
Spex: What did you do?
Penston: She chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-
Giru: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?
Giru: How do I make a date really romantic?
Volt: Be mysterious.
Giru: Okay!
*later, while on a date with Spex*
Spex: So where are we going?
Giru: None of your ******* business.
Sees: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.
Giru: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.
Sees: Not when you’re playing with Spex, it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”
Giru: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
Penston: Can't relate.
Sees: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?
Sees: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Giru recently.
Volt: No, Sees, it's not what it looks like, I swear.
Sees: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?
Volt: No! You’re the only one for me.
Sees: Is that so?
Volt: I promise! Giru and I are just dating, okay? They’re my partner.
Sees: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?
Volt: You are still my one and only best friend! They’re just the love of my life, nothing more!
Sees: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?
Volt: Of course bro!
Sees: Bro...
Giru: What the-
Danny: I haven't seen Giru and Spex for fifteen minutes now.
*Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Giru and Spex running after it in a panic. Danny doesn't look outside at all.*
Danny: That probably means they're getting into trouble.
Volt: Oh no! I’m doomed!
Giru: Seriously? All you have to do is not insult Sees at his own memorial service.
Volt: Exactly! It’s impossible!
Volt: Spex, take out the trash.
Spex: Sure, Giru, will you go out on a date with me?
Danny: There's no way she likes me back.
Volt: Giru would throw herself in front of a moving car for you.
Danny: Giru would throw herself in front of a moving car for fun.
Volt: I didn't drink that much last night.
Sees: You were flirting with Giru.
Volt: So what? She's my partner.
Sees: You asked if she was single.
Sees: And then you cried when she said she wasn't.
Danny: Giru you can’t move in with Sees.
Giru: Why not?
Danny: Well, um, how are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?
Giru: I’m not wearing makeup right now.
Danny: Holy crap, you’re beautiful.
Giru: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator.
Danny: Yup.
Sees: Maybe the generator is watching us.
Giru: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added?
Giru: ...
Giru: Wait—
Giru: Sorry, who are you?
Sees: Oh, I’m Sees.
Giru: Oh yeah, I’ve heard about you from Volt.
Giru: Are you his friend or something?
Sees: No.
Sees: I’m his therapist.
Giru: You're giving me a sticker?
Danny: Not just a sticker.That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”
Giru: I'm not a preschooler.
Danny: Fine, I'll take it back
Giru: I earned this, back off!
Sep 11, 2023
by
Gau
