Bee Pen Dimension 10 - Spooky Simp Snake Man's Great Escape (Or Not)
When Spooky Simp Snake Man opened his eyes, he realized he had no idea where he was. Which wasn't new. He looked around and realized he was standing in a large tube in what looked like a laboratory. He banged on it with his fists and started screaming a lot. "HELP ME! HEY! HELP ME! WHERE AM I?! HELP ME! WHAT'S GOING ON?! HELP ME!" he cried, but it was in vain. As he started crying hysterically, loud violin music started playing and a door opened. Turning around to see what was going on, to his horror, he saw Evil Motorcycle Lady standing there. "E-Evil Motorcycle Lady...!" he gasped, realizing that this wasn't good. He watched as she went over to some futuristic console looking thing and tapped buttons and whatnot. The door closed. "You did this... you captured me!" Spooky Simp Snake Man exclaimed. Evil Motorcycle Lady laughed evilly and motorcyclely. "So you remember... good." "Let me out right now!" he yelled, banging on the tube again. "Or what?" Evil Motorcycle Lady asked, casually turning around. Spooky Simp Snake Man fell silent upon realizing he didn't know how to reply to that. So he went back to crying. "Oh, Strawberry Shortcake... I'm so sorry that I... that I won't be simping for you as much anymore..." he sobbed quietly. He remembered Melony, who had stolen his heart and made him even more of a weird simp, but he'd thrown away like the piece of fruit she was. He remembered the girl he'd simped for because she looked at him in a concerned way one day, but had turned down his confession. He remembered that other girl he'd simped for because she was sitting next to him at school so therefore love, but had moved to Japan upon hearing that he had a crush on her. He still needed to ask her how she felt. So many girls and fruit who he'd never be able to simp for again because he was stuck in a tube in god-knows-where. "Would you shut up back there?!" Evil Motorcycle lady yelled, getting sick and tired of Spooky Simp Snake Man's hysteric sobbing. So he shut up. For three seconds. "What do you want with me?!" he demanded. Evil Motorcycle Lady groaned. "We need to use you to feed our lord and savior, Annie May Simpinius, the simp energy she needs." Before Spooky Simp Snake Man could ask what in god's name that was, he suddenly heard a cracking sound. When he turned around to investigate, he realized that his constant pathetic sobbing and banging had cracked the tube. As it shattered, and Evil Motorcycle Lady's jaw hit the ground, he realized this was his opportunity to get out of there. He charged at Evil Motorcycle Lady, and she was too caught off-guard to stay standing and fell to the ground. Spooky Simp Snake Man quickly got up and started mashing buttons. However, he was sprayed in the face with hot coffee and hit over the head with an air freshener. As he tried to recover from the savage beating he'd gotten from a pine-tree shaped air freshener, Evil Motorcycle Lady suddenly picked him up like he was two and a half pounds and stupidly flung him at the console. Not only did he hit the bright red button with "OPEN/CLOSE DOOR" on it, but he also hit the lime green "RELEASE SIMPS" button. She realized just how stupid she'd been as a bunch of bewildered simps' tubes opened and they started running out the door. She shrieked angrily and shoved Spooky Simp Snake Man out of the way, pressing the button that closed the door. Unfortunately, by the time she did, Spooky Simp Snake Man was the only simp there. She started to cry as she realized just how much she hated her job. Spooky Simp Snake Man attempted to sit up, but Evil Motorcycle Lady suddenly pointed a squirt gun full of lemon juice at him. He shrieked and curled up in a fetal position as she stood over him threateningly, though beneath her sunglasses, she looked like she hadn't slept in a week. "All right. The other simps might've escaped, but..." An evil grin spread across her face. "Annie May Simpinius doesn't care how many people simp, as long as they simp enough." Spooky Simp Snake Man trembled, terrified of lemon juice, and hoped for a miracle. But just then, somebody lunged at Evil Motorcycle Lady. Caught off-guard again, as she thought all the simps had left the room, she started spraying lemon juice everywhere. As it touched the console, said console blew up and Evil Motorcycle Lady's hair caught fire. She screamed, ran around, and started rolling on the ground. When the fire was put out, she whimpered "I... hate this job..." and passed out. After Spooky Simp Snake Man's brain put together everything that'd just happened, he turned to face his rescuer. His jaw dropped. Standing in front of him was a girl with really long pink hair who was dressed like Ariel from The Little Mermaid, fake mermaid tail and all, which made him wonder how she walked. But more importantly in his mind, he found her beautiful for some ungodly reason. "You... you saved me... t-thank you..." he whispered, uncurling and slowly standing up. The girl's eyes widened. "You saved me first! I-I couldn't just stand there and let that mean lady hurt you!" she gushed, her voice sounding like a cat whose throat was filled with peanut butter purring. Spooky Simp Snake Man's nose bled. They gazed into each others' randomly colored eyes, simping heavily. "I'm... I'm Spooky Simp Snake Man." "Really? What a great name! My name is Bethanyetteianne Kangaroo, but you can call me B. Roo for short." she said flirtatiously. "Bethanyetteianne Kangaroo? That's a beautiful name..." Spooky Simp Snake Man murmured. They started at each other more and simped a lot. Then they smooched. But then Evil Motorcycle Lady regained consciousness and wished she hadn't. Spooky Simp Snake Man and Bethanyetteianne Kangaroo whirled around, somehow still smooching, eyes wide with horror. "I... am going... to kill you both..." Evil Motorcycle Lady rasped, so angry that she wanted to break a table over somebody's head. The two simps stopped smooching, and Bethanyetteianne Kangaroo clung to Spooky Simp Snake Man's arm, terrified. He gulped.
To be continued...
Jul 28, 2022
by
Gau
Bee Pen Dimension 10 - On The Road Again
"ONE, TWO, THREE, AND MAYBE SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX! MAKING EDGY TEENAGERS AND WE'LL BE KILLING MORE!" As Deathberry Bloodcake edgily tap-danced on stage, her mohawk waving around wildly, Bee Pen's head slumped down. He had been forced to listen to the song on loop for about seventeen hours, and it was weakening his already loose grip on reality. Meanwhile, Shrew Cart started sobbing, worn out from all the shrieking and thrashing she'd been doing. Catherine Mag'enta Alzheimer's Goose Northeast glared at them, and Archibald Benson sighed depressedly. "ALL OF YOU BE QUIET! DEATHBERRY BLOODCAKE IS MY FAVORITE SINGER, YOU PREPS!" Catherine screeched, partially drowning out Deathberry Bloodcake as she sung about typical edgy emo stuff. "LET'S GRAB OUR KNIVES AND STAB TEDDY BEARS AND STUFF AND WRITE THE NAMES OF OUR EMO CRUSHES IN FAKE BLOOD!" "LIKE, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE EDGY DEATH MEMORIES WITH DEATHBERRY BLOODCAKE?! IT'S MY FAVORITE SONG! IT TOTALLY CAPTURES THE DEPRESSING SORROW AND EVILNESS OF BEING A GOTHIC VAMPIRE LIKE ME!" "UNDERNEATH YOUR DARK EMO BASEMENT, THAT'S WHERE WE'LL COMMIT REALLY AWESOME CRIMES, YOU AND ME!" "YOU JUST DON'T WANNA HEAR IT BECAUSE YOU'RE A BUNCH OF UN-EDGY UN-NOT-UNCOOL PEOPLE WHO HATE DEATHBERRY BLOODCAKE FOR EXPRESSING HER VERY DARK AND EDGY SELF!" "WHEN WE'RE WHINING BECAUSE PEOPLE HATE US, IT'S GO! THIS EDGY SONG FILLS MY BLADDER UP WITH PEE!" Just when Bee Pen was about to break his chair off and jump off the nearest bridge while hoping that the river would carry him to a less emo place, a boy suddenly leapt through the air, about four feet above his head, making an annoyingly loud sound that could make glass shatter. Catherine jumped out of her chair and stuck out her arms as if she was going to throw him like he was in a mosh pit or something. However, he missed her by a third of an inch and landed face-flat on the ground. Archibald Benson sighed gothically as Deathberry Bloodcake's horrifically bad music stopped. When the boy stopped whimpering and stood up, a spark of hope... sparked in Bee Pen. Despite the fake fur coat and lime green hair with red and black streaks that dragged along the ground similarly to Catherine's, he looked like Spooky Simp Snake Man. So desperate to get out of the nightmarish dimension he was in that he would even turn to Spooky Simp Snake Man to help him, and temporarily forgetting that he was surrounded by edgy versions of his friends and himself, he nudged Shrew Cart, who seemed to be having a mental breakdown, with his elbow. Her eyes widened as she looked up. "Spooky Simp Snake Man! You're here! How'd you- oh, never mind! Please get us out of here!" she pleaded. But the boy, who wore a name tag with 'Gothic Fanboy Reptile Guy' written on it, looked at her like she was the crazier one. "What are you talking about? My name is Emogo!" he said. At that moment, Bee Pen's single remaining bit of hope for humanity was ripped from him. Gothic Fanboy Reptile Guy went over to Deathberry Bloodcake and started simping for her, but she yelled at him for being off-key and late and fired him. He cried a lot. Bee Pen, deprived of all sanity, suddenly chewed through his ropes and started bashing the chair with a rock until it broke into a million pieces. Archibald Benson and Catherine's jaws dropped. Bee Pen then hugged Shrew Cart, and they dimension-hopped. After a moment of silence, Gothic Fanboy Reptile Guy turned to Deathberry Bloodcake. "You're still fired." she growled. He cried a lot. Again. Meanwhile, in a different dimension, the door of the garage that was attached to the house Mighty Midget had been squatting in opened. Some lights shone from the darkness, and an ice cream truck dramatically flew out into the street, playing that dingy music that ice cream trucks play. Right behind it was a hot pink e-tricycle, plugged into an outlet in the garage by a very long cord. And on that tricycle was a boy wearing a white onesie with pink hearts all over it and a large heart emblem thingy with 'SS' written in large reddish letters that strongly resembled strawberries. His hair waved in the breeze, and he took a deep breath. "I'm Supersimp, and I like to simp a lot! I'm Supersimp, and I like to simp a lot! I'm Supersimp-simp-simp-simp, Supersimp! I'm Super-Super-Super-Supersimp, Supersimp! Yeah, yeah, Supersimp!" Spooky Simp Snake Man sung to the tune of the ice cream truck melody in an extremely repetitive and annoying manner. Mighty Midget gave him a thumbs-up from the window of the ice cream truck, and he smiled before continuing. "Oh, I like to simp, I really love to simp a lot! Yeah, I'm a simp, which is totally something I don't say a lot! I'm really cool because simps are really cool! I like to simp, to gush, and to drool! I am Supersimp, yeah!" The two kids were so caught up with the theme song Spooky Simp Snake Man had come up with on the spot but pretended he'd come up with earlier that they didn't notice Evil Motorcycle Lady and Bald Man McGee's 7'11" son, Bald Man McJunior, tailing them. This time, Mighty Midget also took a deep breath as he joined in. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!" "I'm Supersimp!" Spooky Simp Snake Man sung, following his lead. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!" "I'm Supersimp!" "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh-" "HEY! ARE YOU TWO REALLY THIS STUPID?! EVIL MOTORCYCLE LADY'S TAILING US!" Dark Sky screamed at them from his really cool motorcycle. Both kids jumped, as they hadn't realized that he was there, but ignored him. "I am a simp, and my name is Supersimp!" "Yeah!" "I simp for fruit and strawberry gamer girls!" "Yeah!" "I'm the best simp, except for the girl that I simp for!" "Yeah!" "I'm a superhero, and to the cute anime girls out there: if you're lucky, I'll simp for you too!" "Oh yeah!" Spooky Simp Snake Man used his two non-simping braincells to try to come up with more lines for his 'amazing' theme song, but the plug that was plugged into his e-tricycle came out, and his e-tricycle fell on top of him as he hit the ground. He whimpered, and Dark Sky's face slammed into his handlebars as he slowed to a stop. "Supersimp!" Mighty Midget cried, poking his head out of the ice cream truck window as the melody continued to play. Suddenly, Bee Pen and Shrew Cart appeared in the middle of the road, completely confused. But before anyone could do anything, Evil Motorcycle Lady and Bald Man McJunior drove by, grabbing Spooky Simp Snake Man by his arms and narrowly missing Bee Pen and Shrew Cart. As Mighty Midget gasped, Evil Motorcycle Lady stuck her tongue out at her arch-nemesis and drove off into the distance. "Was that- was that Spooky Simp Snake Man? Bestie, what's going on?!" Shrew Cart shrieked to the equally-clueless Bee Pen, who shrugged. "You know Spooky Simp Snake Man?!" Mighty Midget asked, climbing out of the ice cream truck. "Uh, yeah. Who the heck are you?" "I'm Mighty Midget, and Supersimp- erm, Spooky Simp Snake Man is a friend of mine. We were on our way to stop this crazy simp motorcycle cult and rescue his girlfriend or... whatever we were doing, but they snatched him! Please, you gotta help!" he pleaded, sounding even less like a superhero than usual. Before Bee Pen could reply, he was shoved into the ice cream truck, and Shrew Cart quickly followed. "Come on, we're going to their secret hideout!" Mighty Midget said before zooming off. Dark Sky, thoroughly exasperated, followed after him and his newfound friends. "WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THEIR HIDEOUT IS!" he yelled from his motorcycle again. Bee Pen, broken by the day's events, passed out and dreamed about setting something on fire.
To be continued...
Jul 28, 2022
by
Gau
