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I have found a friend to trade with and we have tried to trade with each.
But when we were trying the 3 DS XL I used And My friend could connect.
Can someone please tell me If We are doing something wrong?
We've tried twice and it hasn't worked.
Thanks to whoever answers!

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Turn on the C-Gear, press infra red, trading. Point the 2 DS's at each other so the game carts are in line, then trade as normal.

It works like this. Infrared trading

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You both need to select ir in the c-gear. You also have to be fairly close. Also, the 3ds xl's communication and parental settings need to allow connection. hope this helped.

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