So, I left 2 notes for Allison (yes, that's the girl I've been talking about), and she responded. Basically, she said she wasn't sure if she was looking for a relationship, since she tried a fake online one and it didn't go well and it made her miserable. She also said that I should try to make more friends (which I've been working on...), and that she was still uncomfortable about the last letter (which, ouch, that stung, but it happened in most of my invisioned scenarios [I always seem to expect the worse...], so it wasn't that bad) and she's working things through. She also said she still might avoid me and not talk to me as much, but she believes it's a sign of embarrassment. I responded to that, basically saying that I'm nowhere near ready to start a relationship, and that it wasn't really my goal, and at the time of the first letter, I was trying to figure out what my feelings were trying to tell me. I also said I wasn't really sure how I felt, about potentially liking her. Before break I kinda accepted my feelings, but coming from break, I didn't feel that specific feeling anymore, and if I ever felt it again, I wouldn't know how to feel about it. I also said I was working on making more friends, but that isn't exactly easy for me. At the end, I said it made me uneasy, knowing I made Allison uncomfortable, but either way, my heart has been warmed up, and if she'd still like to be friends. She responded with Ok and told me not to leave anymore notes on her instrument case (not exactly sure wheter Ok is responding to a specific thing or the whole letter...)
So yeah, I'm still a bit shaken and a little stung, knowing I made Allison uncomfortable (but tbf I envisioned it a million times, not exactly as how it went but I still shouldn't be that stung), and I'm still a bit nervous around her. I don't know how our friendship will be like from now on, but all I can do is wait ig...
Jan 13, 2022
by
Mr. Fish
