Wall for BM™ (page 63)

"I have kicked a bird in the butt."

"Sir, why are you wearing a lizard for underwear...?"
[...Well, he was.]

"Are they sacrificing or worshipping her?"

"Sheesh. All this for a kiss. Better be a good one."

"Well, that's what happens when you marry a princess."

"Sineater? What kinda name is Sineater? It's a slug!"

"Wow... there's so much to see, so much to do...
...
...
WHERE'S POGO I WANT POGO-"

"I don't know you. Nice to meet you."

"Bord."
[Possibly the deepest quote right there.]

"What the hell is- oh. A rodent. We don't talk about rats, rats-"

"Faitheater? What kinda name is-"

"Y'know, I'd appreciate you didn't random encounter so close to story events."

"Is there, like, a fast way down the mountain?
No. Of course there isn't."

"Save the girl, save the girl, save the girl, SAVE THE GIR-"
[I have saved too many girls this week.]

"In Purple Mist, we find our socks!"
[I actually misheard something a character said as that. No idea what he really said but it was funny.]

"YOU BETRAYED ME YOU JERK! WHERE'S POGO?!"


{WARNING: Very meenie bad words ahead as I argue with some dweeb about the protagonist guy's wife who he has a big crush on. Might be funnier if you could actually see what he said instead of how I retorted but oh well. Also I'm bad at spelling characters' names.}

"...All this because you didn't get my girlfriend?"

"So I was supposed to share the princess lady who wanted to marry me? Oh go to hell."

"I did change, I GOT MARRIED!"

"Dear god, you're the biggest sore loser in the entire Middle Ages."

"First of all, I don't recall you begging. Second of all, why would I let you win? Would it make you any less of a loser?"

"Oh yeah. The lady you had a crush on married me. So you cried a lot and cried in sad and sadded in cry and boo-hoo my heart bleeds for you."

"...I'm lustful because some lady wanted to marry me?"

"I DON'T understand! YOU AREN'T MAKING ANY DAMN SENSE!"

"Actually, I have loved, lost, and known shame. Ask... uh... you know..."
[Not even I know how I planned to finish that.]

Streibough: "I've newfound strength."
Me: "Y'know, I somehow doubt that."

"So you want me to shove you off the mountain. I mean, punting you sounds funner, but if that's what you want, my friend."

"OH DAMMMMMMMMN WHERRRRRRRRRE ISSSSSSSSSSS POGOOOOOOOOO?!"
[Yeah. Because when your friend becomes a weird shadowy psychopath thing, a caveman is the first person you wanna see.]

"I am going to dance on your grave to this music."

(in a failing to sing tone that gets even less sing-y the longer I try) "Oh, you'll drown in your own blood, if you have any left, I'm not sure..."

"Yes it will."

"Okay, b*stard."

"I always triumph. Because I'm cool."

"I nearly died trying to save you, and this is how you repay me?! You bit-"

Alethea: "He suffered..."
Me: "SO DID I!"

"Okay, I'm done. I'm divorcing you. Go make out with your boyfriend's corpse."

"Sweet and humble? He tried to MURDER ME!"

"Oh, uh... so much for our divorce. I guess this is Romeo and Juliet now."

"I could've got a better wife off eBay."
[I love this one honestly. I'm funny sometimes.]

"Why do I look like the shinobi from that angle?"

"Sits there blond-ly."

"This is boring. I want Pogo."

"Blur intensifies."

"Yeah, 'cause your friends died. Hate it for ya, Justin."
[His name was Oersted but I renamed him after a fifteen year old Fire-elemental OC of mine for some reason. That makes him the only character I renamed.]

"Stop beating yourself up! There'll be, uh... better wives?"

"JUSTIN DON'T BE EVIL PLEASE I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOU-"

"Unfortunately everybody sucks."

"Hi demon. I thought you were Justin."

"Oh damn, oh damn, oh damn- NOOOOOOO WHYYYYYY?! THIS IS EDGY AND SUCKS I WANNA CRY-"

"Oersted is broken."

"Nicolette Chin. Seems the voice actors have even weirder names than the characters."

"What kinda loser goes 'oh no my wife who sucked died and my friend who also sucked died so I'm gonna be evil hahahahaha'?"

"Just so you know, Justin, I'm coming for ya. My scrawny little caveman boy is gonna kick your face in."

The game: "To be continued..."
"It'd better be."

The game: "The Dominion of Hate
Play this chapter as Pogo?"
Me: "That, uh... that a trick question?"

"Pogo this is not the time to be dancing and making funny noises."

God only knows what: "O foolish child."
"Um, uh, hi..."

"Look I hate Beru but there's no need to be edgy."

The same thing that just talked two quotes ago: "Whose faith in men endures despite their sins."
Me: "I mean... he's a caveman."

"POGO DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT! I MEAN THE RED! I MEAN THE DARK!"

"Stop laughing and put your Chest Hair back on."

"Pogo in Fever Dreamland."

"Pogo, you have eyeballs. Do you need to follow scent trails?"

"The fact that I don't have the faintest idea what age you are weirds me out."

"Wait 'til those Middle Age freaks see a caveman strutting around. Their helmets are gonna fall off."
[Oh yeah. They're the freaks.]

"Holy crap the Live A Live theme plays every time I enter a battle? Okay, okay, Game of the Year, oh my-"
[If you couldn't tell, I like that song.]

"Oh noes. THe slug shall eat my soul."

"Help help what am I doing I'm out of control have you hit puberty-"
[I really need to stop randomly having a stroke for no apparent reason it's not good for me.]

"I hate it when plants explode in my face. Really annoying."

"Okay, uh... that... that failed..."


BONUS QUOTE (I was reacting to my memories so it wasn't technically during gameplay but whatever)

"Do I look like a walking snack dispenser or something? Besides, I don't think you should take snacks from some teenager who doesn't watch his language or wear a shirt."

hi convinced you're an A.I. I thought you were BM.

Pogie

bang bang
bang bang

"Drum is bang for hurt ears. Make strong all ways when weapon. Can bang and bang and bang."

Yes you are.

"What is the meaning of life?"
"Why does Gau have pants?"
"..."
"..."
"What?"
"What?"

Never gonna give Gau up
Never gonna let Gau down
Never gonna run around and desert Gau
Never gonna let Gau die
Never gonna say Gau-dbye
Never gonna let Gau's foes hurt him


(I parodied it and then parodied the parody if you were wondering)

In this world, there are two types of Elements: Primary and Secondary. People typically have one of each. First, the Primary Elements: Fire, Water, Nature, Lightning, Ice, and Wind. Maybe I should add Earth or something someday, but until then, we're stuck with those six. It's worth noting that, while Elements can have a pretty strong effect on personality and stuff, there's no guarantee that you're going to match the typical profile. A black-haired antisocial Lightning girl, for instance, is entirely possible, just uncommon.


Fire
Gender: 35% male, 65% female
Appearance: Usually redheads. Their hair is messy. (yes hair is the main appearance thing affected by Elements don't ask why just imagine anime characters)
Personality: Fires, unsurprisingly, have quick tempers, are argumentative and stubborn, and also rash and aren't afraid to speak their minds. They love excitement and thrills. And weapons. And motorcycles. And bungee jumping. Basically, they like to go fast and do dangerous stuff. They're real daredevils. Girls are less keen on doing dangerous things than boys, but it happens.

Water
Gender: 60% male, 40% female
Appearance: I never thought of anything apparently. Some of these are work-in-progress.
Personality: Waters are... really something. They're quite calm and relaxed, and have a reputation as peacekeepers because they often stop arguments. At the same time, they get very childish when excited, and when they get angry, though rare, they can get very noisy and sometimes violent. Like a raging, stormy sea. But a kid. They enjoy basically anything relating to the water, and boys sometimes surf.

Nature
Gender: 15% male, 85% female
Appearance: Usually brown-haired. Also short.
Personality: This was a bit work-in-progress, but the idea's there. At first glance, Natures seem kind, caring, and helpful. You know, the gentle types. But, as it turns out, they might just have a worse temper than Fires. They get a bit radical about their views pretty often. If one was a vegetarian, she'd probably freak out and yell at you for eating a hamburger. You know, really annoying stuff like that.

Lightning
Gender: 70% awesome- I mean male, 30% female
Appearance: Blond. They often have spiky hair. It's unknown if this is because of genetics or the electricity going through that hair on a daily basis. Also girls often like putting their hair in boyish styles.
Personality: Lightnings are outgoing, friendly, and often popular. While this popularity doesn't usually go to their heads, when it does, they're really obnoxious. Boys love sports, girls love dancing, both genders like running, and they're usually very skilled at whatever they're doing. Going up against a team of Lightnings in... whatever sport is usually a nightmare because of their speed and physical strength. Also they can electrocute you. In fact, most winning sports teams are mostly or completely Lightnings. They're very energetic and can't seem to sit still, though that might be because their electricity is generated by moving, and if they use all of it up, they instantly fall asleep. They're rather hasty and it's no surprise if one of them rushes into danger. Since they don't think that much, instinct can come in very handy. Fun fact: stronger Lightnings can summon lightning storms and electrocute themselves to power up. Because logic.

Ice
Gender: 55% male, 45% female
Appearance: (dead silence)
Personality: Wow I really didn't give them one. Sad. However, I imagine them being the counterpart to Lightnings. They're a lot smarter and likely get really good grades. They're not often shy, but just enjoy being on their own. They're also quieter. They're the kinda kids who aren't noticed much. They're also not very hasty and like to think things through. And I'm too lazy to continue but you get the gist they're like the opposite of Lightnings.

Wind
Gender: 40% male, 60% female
Appearance: Their hair grows fast and turns gray at an earlier age than usual. Fun fact.
Personality: Winds are childish and innocent, even in adulthood. They usually like to do whatever stuff they did as a kid and keep most of their opinions from childhood as well. They're likely quite naive and not very hard-working most of the time. And that's about all I had.


And now for the Secondary Elements. That's right, we're not done yet. There are two Secondary Elements: Light and Darkness. These, unlike Primary Elements, don't have any effect on gender or appearance, but grant extra powers and have some effect on personality. I'm not sure exactly what powers they grant, but hey, if you can shoot lightning from your spiky hair why not blast your opponent with a beam of darkness somehow? Anyway, these Elements are a bit like a moral compass. If you have Light, you feel more strongly about morals and are less likely to bend just because of certain circumstances. If you have Darkness, you don't feel as strongly about them and are more likely to bend your morals, if that makes any sense. These don't automatically make you good or evil or anything, as you can have Light and still be an insane criminal, or have Darkness and be very just and righteous, but they do have an effect on you. Also, I imagine you'll be more or less friendly if you have Light or Darkness respectively. Things like that.


Here are some fun facts and trivia.

- You can have two Primary or Secondary (or even both) Elements, or no Elements at all. The chances of these are very low, however, and it can be a bit of a pain when you have two personalities meshing weirdly. As for people without Elements, you don't know what to expect from them.
- Nature has the most drastic difference in gender ratio, with 15/85, while Ice has the least drastic difference, with 55/45.
- While Fire has quite a few traits that I think fit a boy, Fires are usually girls. Ironically, the Fire-Elemental character I imagined was a boy.
- While I see myself as a Fire because of the temper and stubbornness and such, my favorite Element is Lightning.
- This is mostly unrelated, but Justin sounds a LOT like a Lightning, though he has the Fire element in whatever stuff I imagine him in. Unless he doesn't have an element at all. Weird.

Geeroo Reacts To Lame Old Fanfiction


"I am here today to defend my kingdom and the other kingdoms!"
["...and the other kingdoms!"]

"I can't stay in this kingdom, or I shall forever be hated."
[Something about that sounds off.]

"Aye...! You thought I was gonna hurt ya?! Nah, nah!"
[Pika has become a foreigner from the country of What.]

"The teacher was a Flareon, which was ironic as it was a swimming class."
[How is a Flareon going to- oh never mind.]

"Vaporeon smiled at me, her pinkish fur shimmering in the sunlight."
[...Vaporeon has fur?]

"So, did you hear all the rumors about those two?"
[They're like eleven. What morons would be so fascinated with a pair of random  girls that they'd spread rumors about them? Oh yeah, the same moron who thought this whole thing was a good idea.]

"Because what would my first day of school be without head injuries?"
[Okay that's actually funny. Good job, me.]

"It was a boy. I could tell, he didn't have a shirt on,"
[Pika tell your boyfriend to put his shirt on. Because if he doesn't one of us is going to have a stroke.]

"I didn't want to upset him, but... I can't swim."
["I can't swim. Excuse me while I take a swim with this guy and nearly drown."]

"Can't wait to see what Lillie has to say about this!"
[Yeah. I'm sure she'll be real impressed that you set up a pair of eleven year olds.]

"Something's wrong here. Something's very, very wrong here."
[Something was very, very wrong with me when I decided to write this.]

"Then guess who I saw coming our way? Pika! She looked... uh... like she hated life! Wait, that's not a good thing."
[When twelve year old me is mildly funny:]

"She glanced at me for a second, looking pitiful."
[You mean there are times she doesn't look pitiful?]

"The cave opened up into a beautiful area. There was a waterfall spilling water into a pond, which shimmered beautifully in the sunlight shining down from the opening in the cave's ceiling."
[(cries beautifully)]

"Her body was cold, and not the Ice-type kind of cold."
[...How can you te- never mind.]

"It was an instrumental version of one of my favorite songs, and he sung its lyrics."
[Why the hell is a Pokemon Trainer singing edgy German music?]

"Flare had made the situation go from sad but hopeful to embarrassing in one joke question."
[In what way was the situation 'hopeful'? Your Pokemon just died you moron.]

"Wait, why do I even want him as a friend? Why am I thinking of making friends when Violet just died?"
[It's good to hear you say that instead of me.]

"I didn't know where I was running. I just wanted to run and hide."
[Relatable.]

"it f-felt as if it brought t-the pain back to reality..."
[There is so little that makes sense about this whole fanfic that I can't even begin.]

"I could see the pure desperation in her beautiful blue eyes"
[soo bootiful]