Incorrect Quote Generator Lines, Part 3
Danny, driving Giru and Sees: So how was your day?
Giru: We almost got surprise adopted!
Danny: What?
Sees: We almost got kidnapped.
Danny: Oh, okay.
Danny: *slams on the brakes* WAIT WHAT?!
Danny: If Giru and I were drowning, who would you save?
Sees: You two can't swim?
Giru: It's a hypothetical question, Sees! who would you save?
Sees: My time and effort.
Danny, texting Giru: Giru! Help I'm being kidnapped
Sees: Where are you?
Danny: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Giru: I'll call Sees.
Sees, answering his cell: Y'ello?
Giru: Where's Danny? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.
Sees: Danny? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-
Sees:
Sees: I'll call you back. *hangs up*
Sees: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN"T THAT BAD!
Danny: WHO ARE YOU?!
Danny: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.
Giru: Next time you're working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex's house down. You can do it. I believe in you.
Sees: There were so many mixed messages in that I can't-
Danny: While I'm gone, Giru, you're in charge.
Giru: Yes!!!
Danny, whispering: Sees, you're secretly in charge.
Sees: Obviously.
Danny: I told Giru her ears flush when she lies.
Sees: Why?
Danny: Look.
Danny: Hey Giru! Do you love us?
Giru, covering her ears: No.
Sees:
Danny: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.
Giru, amazed: Wow...
Sees, to Giru: Well what does that mean?
Giru: I don't know.
Giru, to Danny: What does that mean?
Danny: If you had to choose between Giru and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Sees: That depends, how much money are we talking about?
Giru: Sees!
Danny: 63 cents.
Sees: I'll take the money.
Giru: SEES!!!
Danny: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Giru: Alright.
Danny: TraitorSayWhat?
Sees: Excuse me?
Danny: What?
Giru:
Danny:
Danny: No wait-
Danny: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Giru: How am I supposed to know?
Sees: You say, as if we don't use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Giru: *sighs*
Giru: You wouldn't be trapped.
Danny: Why are you on the floor?
Giru: I'm depressed.
Giru: Also I was stabbed, can you get Sees, please.
Danny, trying to ask Giru out: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Sees: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
Danny: Sees, can I talk to you for a second?
Sees: Yeah, what's up? Lemme guess. You and Giru are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Danny: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I've read books.
Danny: I trust Giru.
Sees: You think she knows what she's doing?
Danny: I wouldn't go that far.
*The squad is talking about what it'd be like to open up a homemade Pokemon gym*
Danny, joking: Giru's just sitting at the end, juggling- fushigi-ing 2 glass balls, in super tight pants, just waiting for their kid delivery once they best her minions.
Giru: Well they would be Pokeballs. And also it's not a kid delivery. There's no ****ing guarantee that a kid that comes into the beginning of my crucible makes it to the end of it undefeated.
Giru: In fact, I'm gonna stack this gym! With ****in' pros!
Giru: It's- It's gonna be brutal. It's gonna be a torture gym.
Sees: Well- Well what's the theme? Are you like- is it a bug theme, or like-
Giru: YEAH, SEES. UH- UH- UH- UH YEAH SEES. IM GONNA OPEN UP A BUG TYPE POKEMON GYM. YOU IDIOT.
Giru: YEAH THAT'S WHAT I WANT. BECAUSE I WANNA GIVE- I WANNA **** OUT BADGES FOR EVERY HAM AND EGGER THAT COMES TO MY FRONT DOOR.
Danny: *Cracking up*
Giru: YEAH, SEES. 'Uhh, go Caterpie! >~>' That's me, you ****ING imbecile. 'Yeah go- uhhh- d-do your best, Kakuna!'
Giru: WHAT ARE YOU ****ING TALKING ABOU- Yeah a ~bug type~ gym.
Sees:
Danny: Okaaay-
Sees: Alright, um, I'm gonna go. I've embarrassed myself.
Danny: Maybe fire? Fire type?
Sees: Yeah fire-based? Like- have fires?
Giru: Yeah, yeah I'll probably just- That's a good idea Danny I'll probably just do a fire type one... SO THAT ONE KID WITH ONE BLASTOISE CAN **** UP MY WHOLE SHOP.
Giru: KILLED ALL OF US WITH ONE BLASTOISE, HUH? WOW. **** I SHOULD'VE-
Sees: Just do rock, then! Just do rock type!
Giru, voice dripping with contempt: The same Blastoise...
Danny: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste
Giru: We got spring water
Danny: NO.
Sees: with EXTRA minerals
Giru: it's like licking a stalagmite
Danny: DON'T COME HOME.
Sees: Mmmmm cave water
Danny: Giru, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Giru: I don't know, love you, talk to you later
Danny: Ok, I love you too, I'll just ask Sees.
Danny: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me.
Giru: Okay, but in my defense, Sees bet me 50 cents I couldn't drink all that shampoo.
Danny: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
Danny: Looking left cause you don't treat me right
Giru: Looking right because you left
Sees: Looking up cause you let me down
Penston: Looking down cause you ****ed up
Volt: What is wrong with you guys
Danny: I'm an idiot.
Giru:
Sees:
Penston:
Volt:
Danny:
Giru: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
Danny: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Giru: 'Prettiest Smile'
Sees: 'Nicest Personality'
Penston: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Volt: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
Danny: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Giru: Rude.
Sees: That's fair.
Penston: Not again.
Volt: Are you going to want this back?
Danny: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Giru: Tubular AF!
Sees: Mood to the max!
Penston, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Volt, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she's a square.
May 27, 2023
by
Gau
Incorrect Quote Generator Lines, Part 2
Danny: HELP! I TOLD SEES I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Giru, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
Danny: What time is it?
Giru: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out
Giru: *plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Sees: WHO THE **** IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Giru: It's 2 am
Danny: Hey Giru,
Giru: Yes?
Danny: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?
Giru:
Giru: Where's Sees?
Danny: Sees, my old arch enemy.
Giru: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?
Danny: I have a life outside of you, Giru.
Danny: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Giru: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Sees: Smad.
*The squad is having dinner together*
Danny: Giru, can you pass the salt?
Giru: *Throws Sees across the table*
Danny: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited
Giru: If?
Sees: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.
Danny: I can't believe you live nearby, and you won't let anyone crash at your place.
Giru: You people already know too much about me.
Sees: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won't let any of us crash at your place.
Danny: Yo is Penston sleeping or dead?
Giru: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.
Sees: Yeah, so did I.
Penston: Okay first of all, **** you-
Danny, Giru, and Sees are sitting on a bench
Penston: Why do you guys look so sad?
Danny: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Penston sits down*
Giru: The bench is freshly painted.
Danny: Giru, I'm sad.
Giru: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.
Sees: Penston, I'm sad.
Penston, nodding: mood.
Danny, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Giru, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Sees, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Penston, trembling: What are we playing
Danny, banging on the door: Giru! Open up!
Giru: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Sees: No, he meant-
Penston: Let her finish.
Danny: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Giru:
Sees:
Penston:
Everyone Else At Danny's Surprise Birthday Party:
Giru: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
Danny: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Giru: Put spaghetti in it.
Danny: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Sees: Put spaghetti in it.
Danny: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Penston: Put spaghetti in it.
Danny: I'm no longer taking suggestions.
Danny: I just ended a four year relationship.
Giru: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
Danny: Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.
*Sees and Penston fighting from across the room*
*Danny's helping Giru out after she got injured, while the others are watching*
Sees: How does Giru look?
Penston: A little better than you, actually.
May 26, 2023
by
Gau
