Question

How to know what moves to give your Pokemon?

Comments

Which Pokemon?

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Any Pokemon

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This is for competitive, right? What format/rules are you playing with? Singles or doubles? Are there any Pokemon, moves, or abilities you aren't allowed to use?

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I struggle to know how to build anything in any game, know what goes good together or lack the ability to be strategic, I've struggled for years to understand and to be able to participate in online matches without only losing or if I build my own team without copying someone and share it online it just gets ridiculed, I have autism am turning 40 next week and competitive Pokemon is too doggone complicated for me, and no video I find is simple enough to help me

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I have autism too and I've also struggled learning competitive. here's what i know, albiet it's very beginning and not an all size fits all ruleset. I hope it helps you get started though:
- look at moveset threads for the pokemon. look at moves and read why they're picked
- for pokemon with strong attack stat, they usually have strong, 100% accurate, attacking moves
- if a pokemon has high special attack, they often use strong, 100% accurate, special moves
- pokemon with high hp and defenses usually have status moves to set up or inflict a status condition.
- for pokemon that have a high attacking stat and a high defensing stat, it's usually a 50/50 in the movesets between status or attacking
- use a nature that boosts its highest stat and weakens the weakest stat.
- give an item + ability that will enhance what you're trying to achieve in your moveset

the best way to learn is to battle, watch battles, and read why people select the moves they do. take a look at our moveset threads. you're welcome to ask questions here

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The best way to learn how to build teams in competitive is to PLAY MORE. With experience of real matches you start to understand why and how people select moves and other traits for their pokemon. This is something that comes with practice, it cant be learned purely by studying theory.  If you are new to competitive, you should start by using a sample team from Smogon Forums and then make a new team once you feel confident enough. (To find sample teams, search "Smogon <format name> sample teams>".) I also agree with what Silver said above. Will post a full answer later.

Answer 1

Here is a list of suggestions for learning how to select what moves to give your Pokemon, in descending order of importance. This advice is general and applicable to all competitive rulesets or formats.
1. Practice More.
With enough experience of real matches you start to understand why and how people select moves for their Pokemon. There is no substitute for practice, you can't learn how to make a good moveset just by studying theory.
This can take a long time to develop, so don't be discouraged if you don't get it at first.
a. When you are new to a ruleset, you should start by selecting a sample team from Smogon Forums and using it in battles until you feel confident enough in your knowledge of the format to build your own team. To find sample teams, search "Smogon (format name) sample teams".
2. Look up a Smogon analysis for the Pokemon you want to make a moveset for and read their explanation why they selected the moves they did.
a. If you have no idea what moves to use, copying a moveset from the Smogon website is often a good place to start. You can then tailor and adapt the moveset to the needs of your team.
3. General guidelines for movesets
Note that these are not applicable 100% of the time, and there may be exceptions, but most competitive movesets follow these rules.
a. For Pokemon with good offensive (Attack and Special Attack) stats you should give them moves with high Base Power, good accuracy(preferably 100%) that they get STAB (Same Type Attack Bonus) on. Sometimes it can be worth it depending to
b. Don't use moves that force the user to spend a turn recharging after using them, those are almost always terrible in competitive play. This is because they give your opponent a free turn to do whatever they want.
c. For Pokemon with high defensive stats that you intend to rely on defensively, you should give them a healing move of some kind (preferably one that heals instantly with no drawbacks such as Recover).
d. Defensive Pokemon should have moves that inflict status conditions like Paralysis or Burn in order to discourage opponents from setting up on them or using them as free entry.
e. For 6v6 Singles, you should almost always have a Pokemon that knows Stealth Rock. Preferably this should be one that matches up well against common Defog or Rapid Spin users in the format you are playing.
4. Get advice from more experienced players on your movesets.
There are many websites and forums on the internet where you can get advice to improve your team and its movesets.
a. I reccomend the Rate My Team section of Smogon Forums because the users there are mostly very helpful and knowledgeable. (Just dont post individual movesets there, you have to post a full team.)
Link: https://www.smogon.com/forums/forums/rate-my-team.52/
b. There are many discord servers out there where you can get advice on your competive movesets and teams. I've had good experiences with the Pokemon Perfect and Smogon Discord servers personally.
Links:
Pokemon Perfect: https://discord.com/invite/2CsWWnan2A
Smogon: https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/smogon-discord-server-directory.3652546/
5. Watch games from more experienced players.
You can find plenty of videos on Youtube or Pokemon Showdown! of tournament level matches between 2 experienced players. You can watch these and think about why they chose the moves they did.

Comments

smogon.com/stats/ is also a good place to find movesets that are more up to date than the ones in Smogon analyses. Those moves won't be explained, though.