Pika The Frocky Whee Head Meets Xblade The Sniper
On an island on top of a Wailord that was somehow alive, a Greninja was strutting through. Dangerous Pokemon lurked everywhere, giving him looks. A Shiny Rayquaza roared at him, but he punched him on the snout and he fainted in one blow. "Who's the most phenominal extra-ordinary fellow?" he asked a singsongy way. Rayquaza lifted its head and roared at him again. "Xblade the Sniper!" This continued for five hours straight, with him also adding rhyming dialogue as he approached a dangerous Pokemon and beat it up. Then he heard someone singing. He used a pair of binoculars and saw a ship sailing by in a pattern that looked like Josh Kool was in charge of it. In the ship was a girl with a tuxedo, short brown hair, and bright blue eyes who was singing Something Called Magic. In a seat, next to a blond boy with green eyes and a black and red hoodie, a chocolate latte was sitting, and Xblade licked his lips, for he loved chocolate lattes. "You! Wreck that ship and gimme that latte!" he ordered Rayquaza, who was now not beaten up. He flew up into the air, above the ship. "Dude what's that big tapeworm up there?!" Pika cried. Of course, Rayquaza was very offended. He Mega Evolved and Dragon Ascented the ship, blowing it to bits. Then he remembered how Xblade had wanted him to get the latte and faceclawed. But then he realized that the chair Gladion had been sitting on with the latte he was just trying to drink in peace was floating on the water, unscathed. Of course, Gladion was very confused and his eyes were wide as saucers as he held the latte. Rayquaza flew down and grabbed Gladion by the hood of his hoodie and held him in his jaws. Of course, Gladion was freaking out by now. Rayquaza snatched the latte in a hand and flew off to the island. Upon reaching the island, he handed the latte to Xblade and dropped Gladion in a volcano, home of Groudon. Gladion hit the bottom and came face to face with the derpiest green baked bean monster he had ever seen. "BAKED BEANS DOOOOORP!" Shiny Groudon roared. "Ah crap." Gladion groaned. Xblade, triumphant, was about to drink the latte when he heard loud splashes. Riding on the back of a Shiny Primal Kyogre was Pika. He was startled so much that he dropped the latte. For a moment, he was devestated, but regained his composure. When the Shiny Primal Kyogre reached the Wailord island, Pika jumped off of his back and thanked him before turning to Xblade. "Dude, this giant tapeworm wrecked my ship and stole Gla-Gla! Where is he, by the way? And who are you?" Pika asked innocently. "Who's the most phenominal extra-ordinary fellow?" Xblade asked, breaking into song again. "...Your mom?" Pika asked. Xblade slapped her across the face and she fell to the ground. "Xblade the Sniper!" "Hey, hey, keep the attitude in check, old man!" Pika said rather sassily as she got up. Xblade laughed. "I live here on this island you came toward, a beautiful place on the back of a Wailord! I kidnapped your boyfriend, that's one thing for sure, I hope he doesn't give Groudon a stomachache because baked beans are the cure!" Xblade rhymed. First Pika went red in the face out of blushing because Xblade referred to Gladion as her boyfriend, and now she was going pale in the face out of fear. "W-What?! Do you mean this 'Groudon' thing a-ate Gladion?!" she screamed. "I have to keep him fed or he'll keep me up all night, singing Parlor Swipple songs with annoyance and might!" "Oh shut up with the stupid rhyming you murderer! If Gladion is harmed, I'll... I'll beat you up!" "Ha! Such a small thing as you couldn't harm a fly, but if you want to lose your teeth then you're free to try! I'm known far and wide for my excellent power, and you'll be known far and wide as a pathetic little flower!" Xblade's taunts were too much for Pika, and she got into a fighting stance. She tried to punch him right in the nose, but he quickly sidestepped and she fell to the ground. They fought and fought, Xblade dodging Pika's attacks or using them against her, until she was just about to collapse. He grabbed her by the collar of her tuxedo and lifted her up. "Who's the most phenominal extra-ordinary fellow?" he asked her. She looked rather dizzy and when she looked at him and saw about fifteen Xblades. She didn't reply. "Who's the most phenominal extra-ordinary fellow?!" he demanded. "Gladion..." she whimpered. Even if he was dead, he was much better than Xblade the Sniper. Xblade was furious and knocked her through the air with a powerful punch. She hit the clouds and slammed into the ground hard. Xblade did his singsongy thing like he had before. But suddenly, someone punched him in the jaw in the middle of his song about how he beat Pika up. It was Gladion, and he was furious. "What?! Into the volcano, certain death for anyone, you were flung, but yet you're back and made me bite my tongue?!" Xblade cried. Gladion dumped cold water on Pika's head and she woke up. She sat up and said "Wha- this is such a lame birthday party..." before collapsing again. Gladion tried to get her back on her two feet, and when he managed to have her rest her back against a tree, he turned to Xblade. "Look, bub. I don't know who you think you are, but no one drops me in a volcano and beats up my best friend and gets away with it. That baked bean-fueled guard dog of yours is pretty pathetic too!" "We'll see about that, you blond little brat! I'll beat you as easily as I'd pull a Scorbunny out of a hat!" They begun to fight, but partway through, Gladion didn't move. He just took hit after hit and mocked Xblade, taunting him into fighting. By the end of it, he was a bloody, bruised mess. Xblade, smirking, was just about to land the finishing blow when Gladion fired off an intense blast of energy with three times the force of the hits he had taken, as, Xblade didn't know, he knew Bide. Xblade landed on a tree branch, unconscious. Gladion had won. By the time they had both recovered, Pika decided to sing a song that was cringey as frick. "Your skin is blue! Your brain is made of splinters and glue! You had to use the loo, but crazy people were after you, and so you couldn't poo! Your tongue is pink! You're so insane you can't think! You look like derpy Link, your intestines have a kink, and you inhaled too much Zinc! Your eyes are dead! They're duller than my bed! They're rolling out of your head, to a place where lameheads tread, and so you turned around and fled!"
The end.
Jan 12, 2021
by
Gau
