here is chapter 2 and part of 3
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Chapter 2 - Dabbling in Photography
Reports from Ohio and even northwestern China have shown that Mountweazel had begun to lose interest in fountain design in her early adulthood. She had been growing in reputation and prestige, and her first international consultation was for a cult in northwestern China. Mountweazel’s advisor, Dimitri Vodalyskav, had informed Mountweazel of the dubious distinctions that the cult had appropriated, but Mountweazel ignored this advice.
On June 17th, 1963, her twenty-first birthday, Mountweazel flew to northwestern China to design fountains of the cult’s revered leader, Danube. Whether “Danube” was his first or last name is unknown. Regardless, Mountweazel began to design the fountain with a noticeable resentment. It was originally thought that Mountweazel had been repulsed by the cult’s ideals, but studies have unveiled the truth -- Mountweazel had later written in a diary entry that she greatly admired the cult’s principals and she had only had a bad headache.
She further detailed that she had snapped at one of the cult members due to sickness. This is indeed true and is common in the standard retelling of the tale. In her own words, in 1966:
I have deep regret inside, Mountweazel wrote, even from all those years ago. The cult whom I had grown a strong admiration for; the member I had wanted to ask out on a date -- all those opportunities and wishes vanished at my rash behavior. All because of a stupid headache!
Further research has supported Mountweazel’s words. However, the cult has since died out and this information was never passed on to them. The cult leader, at Mountweazel’s rude remark (that is still unknown in specificity), immediately threatened Mountweazel, grabbing her pillbox hat and tossing it into a cavern. (Although not important, the color of the hat is a point of dispute. Some claim that it was blue while others declare it was green.) Mountweazel’s team quickly evacuated her, and purportedly the paparazzi quickly followed them. It was originally assumed they escaped through a taxi, though it is far more likely that their escape method was a helicopter.
More details of this theatrical escape have since been revealed. The co-ambassador of Mountweazel’s team had stayed behind to fend off the cult, but it is more than likely that he was killed while doing so. Additionally, the cult member that Mountweazel had developed a romantic affinity to had attempted to venture into the cavern to seek Mountweazel’s discared pillbox hat. When retrieving it, he reportedly did a dance while singing this song, translated:
“Red hat, red hat, red hat! I really love this red hat of Lillian Virginia Mountweazel! She will be mine!”
The lyrics of this song contradict the claims of two sides, as it seems to disprove the claims of the hat being green and that of the hat being blue. Either way, it is clear that the cult member was thrown into the cavern by the cult’s leader -- if not, it is possible that cannibalism was committed that day.
This series of bizarre events assumedly led to a monumental decision of Mountweazel. That day, she decided to pursue photography, as is evidenced by her diary entry from 1971:
Oh, alas, I vividly and clearly remember that ever-auspicious day in 1963 -- it feels like eons ago, but I remember. I was in despair at the events that had unfolded that day and was on the verge of shattering. But before my inner candle extinguished, I realized the opportunity I had to expand my success and renown, so that it would be everlasting, surpassing even myself. I decided I would pursue photography -- and how fruitful that decision proved to be.
Why Mountweazel chose photography specifically is still unknown, despite our best efforts.
Chapter 3 - Rise to Stardom
Mountweazel ventured into the realm of photography with unparalleled vigor, but, like her mother, struggled at first and, like her mother, was angered at her quandary.
Making a risky move by venturing to New York on a low budget, Mountweazel was denied by six photography companies, all of which sent her rejection letters of various scathingness. One such letter read as follows:
Dear Sir Mountweazel,
Not to forego all niceties, but your photography skills are simply abysmal. Please consider signing up for a job as a pianist in our city orchestra.
Kindest regards,
Aleric C. E. Minka, CEO of Photographica Generica
Abashed by the mislabel on herself, without taking a chance to consider, Mountweazel instantaneously rushed to the City Orchestra of New York and was promptly rejected, almost cartoonishly pushed out the front doors.
Mountweazel was reported as weeping on the sidewalks in a dusty cardigan, as follows the claims of various pedestrians with a range of sketchy characteristics. According to various sources, Mountweazel was approached by a stranger whose name was revealed after Mountweazel’s death to be Bosco Pertwee. This is further evidenced by a diary entry from Mountweazel -- the date has been inked but it can be reasonably assumed it was written in late 1971 to early 1972.
The stranger who approached me after my sorrowful rejections by six photography companies in a row. And further still, rejected by the New York City Orchestra, in a way ever akin to my mother. At a point of darkness and solitude, I was afraid I was doomed for a career -- a life, even -- of impending oblivion, my legacy to falter like a fallen angel. But the stranger who approached me could be considered my savior; my messiah, even. Without him, I could never have continued my journey in photography. And I am thankful forevermore to him.
Mountweazel continues to describe the event in a way similar to the one commonly retold. However, the details of the stranger’s (Bosco Pertwee) clothing differs from Mountweazel to eye-witnesses. It is accepted Mountweazel’s version is the accurate one, though no one is certain.
To approach me -- a sniveling stranger on the sidewalk, unsuccessful at my photographic aspirations. To have such tremendous courage to do such a bold act. I recall that he asked me about my predicament and I frantically and desperately told him of my fountain design gone wrong; my photography dreams soon to be doomed. He took me to a company unbeknownst to me and even offered me his midnight trench coat. I wish I would’ve asked for his name.
Eye-witnesses are persistent in claiming Bosco Pertwee donned a white trench coat, and some speculate Mountweazel was color blind, but no evidence has backed up such a claim. It has been declared by the Mountweazel Association that these people are a part of some radical trickery group, keen on practically pranking researchers. Other such claims of these people include that Pertwee was actually a drug lord of the mafia; further still, some claim that he was rude and offensive to Mountweazel. Whatever it may be, it is accepted that Pertwee did indeed advance Mountweazel’s photography career.
Pertwee took Mountweazel to what we now know was a company called Amani Photography, but Mountweazel persistently misspells this name in all of her entries:
He took me to Albany Photography, and their company is simply wonderful. I could never forget anything about it, as Albany had helped me tremendously throughout my life.
Pertwee immediately abandoned Mountweazel after she stepped into the lobby of Amani, but this abandonment didn’t seem to affect Mountweazel’s view of Pertwee.
Dec 27, 2020
by
AureliusReyes
Here is what I have of the first chapter.
The story of Lillian Virginia Mountweazel begins at her birth, as all stories do…. Well, technically, her story begins at conception, involving scandalous affairs with her parents jumping behind the bushes doing goodness knows what*. Aside from these troubling beginnings, her parents were able to rejoice on June 17th, 1942, for that day brought forth the life of their seventh child and first daughter, whom they named Lillian Virginia Mountweazel, the child of Virginia Anderson-Mountweazel and Vincent F. Mountweazel.
Being the ‘40s, Lillian was not conceived nor born in a hospital that is typical of modern America. No, instead Lillian was born in a tiny home in rural Bangs, Ohio, with her parents, six brothers, and other relatives all aside her. Recent research has shown that the house has since been demolished, and in fact the town Bangs, Ohio has become the much larger city now known as Cleveland.
Despite the elaborate research conducted by Ohioan biography investigation companies, the early life of Mountweazel is largely unbeknownst to us. However, thorough research has revealed facts about Mountweazel’s childhood days that were not revealed to us by the New Columbia Encyclopedia.
Firstly, it has been discovered that Mountweazel’s mother Virginia, from whom Lillian Mountweazel had retrieved her middle name, was adamant on teaching her only daughter the elusive art of piano.
*I actually do know what, but that is beyond the scope of this message.
Dec 27, 2020
by
AureliusReyes
