Wall for Gau (page 126)

No I don't.

...wait.
You WANT me to push you off a tree and hurt you?
Girl you have some weird desires...

Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on.

But that's even worse.

The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he's rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn't removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. 5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer. And three minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted: BK's "Tell us about us" online forum. The foot photo, otherwise known as exhibit A, was attached. Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day. When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said "Oh, I know who that is. He's getting fired." Mystery solved, by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.

Dankrai

Me? My dreams sound like a day at the office compared to yours. Though I pride myself at having an overactive imagination, I will be pwned in front of yours. Nothing to report here ma'am, except a dream in which I was kidnapped from my home to become the King of Mars.

:0

Quite the contrary. It's me narrating my stupid and twisted sense of humor.

Be my crush sometimes so I can push you off a tree-

You'll never guess where that comes from

"His twisted sense of humor involves him (the narrator) and his crush sitting together up in a tree. The narrator shoves his crush out of the tree, making her sustain major injuries. The narrator laughs, shouting that there can only be one in the tree."

Ugh fine, you can order once per week. We need money

Rose