I already have the Dialga, it's Bronzer I need to get.
About Lavender, everyone keeps saying that she likes me back, but tbh I really don't know. I mean, her response in her first letter was a bit unusual, but it just could have been her lack of experience with crushes or something like that. I won't pry, but if she actually does like me that would be quite a shocker...
Jan 18, 2022
by
Mr. Fish
I've been okay. Had some good moments, some bad. I've added some shinies to my collection over the last few months, Dialga (which I came back to after a year), a Sneasel from a really quick hunt, and 2 Zubats (which I'm not so proud of). All of these were in Diamond, so those odds were 1/8192. Oh yeah, I've also been bullied by the MeenSteels organization (info about my about me which I need to edit), which is why I'm not so excited about Zubat 2. But the main thing I've been going through over the last month and a half is feelings concerning a feminine individual. Basically, after a emotional rollercoaster hellride at a start of a week, I started feeling something I never felt before. It wasn't the same as some crush, it was quite small. I sent a letter of thoughts to my friend (which we'll call Lavender) about my thoughts. I got quite stressed thinking about how she may respond. She responded the next day saying we could still be friends and that she was a bit uncomfortable about starting a relationship. At the end of the week, my feelings started to develop a bit more, making me a little certain I had feelings for Lavender. Fast forward a few weeks, since we had a break from school, and I come back to school with the feelings basically gone and me feeling a bit nervous around Lavender. Over the break I had a few dreams that I made her uncomfortable, and that she would avoid me, and it seemed like that's what was going on. So, stress. I sent her a letter last week, basically asking if I made her uncomfortable, and if we could talk about our feelings, but she didn't respond. (Oh yeah I almost forgot over the weekend before last week, I pulled a prank which really lifted my spirits, so I was feeling quite confident.) On Wednesday, I wrote her another letter (which I don't remember what it said), and after seeing a hidden message that was basically all my problems in one sentence on the back, and being too nervous to give it to her when she was one person away, things came crashing down. My confidence went away and my heart refroze. I was REALLY stressed for the end of the day. On Thursday morning, I wrote another letter with more of my thoughts and feelings, and while I didn't give it to her as soon as possible, it did get to her. She wrote back that Thursday, and it turns out that Lavender was uncomfortable because she tried an online relationship before, and it made her miserable, and she still might avoid me out of embarrassment. I wrote back saying that I should have been more clear about my feelings and that I was far from ready to start a relationship, and that I was quite unsure of my feelings. On Friday morning, I kinda synchronized with what Lavender wrote in her letter, and I sorta felt the pain, and I felt bad for making her uncomfortable. Later that day, I wrote her another letter, basically saying sorry for making her uncomfortable, and that I'm fine with her avoiding me for as long as she needs. I also asked whether I should tell her if my feelings resurfaced, and what the special signature at the end of my letters mean. No response (but I didn't expect one), but I felt myself questioning my feelings again. I wrote to Lavender once more, asking her to answer the question as soon as possible, and left the letter in a spot she told me not to. My excuse was that it's urgent and I'm too nervous to ask her in person. So yeah, that's where I am now, questioning my feelings again, not wanting to make Lavender even more uncomfortable, and not trying to boot up the stress game again. A bit of a mouthful, but that's what I've been going through lol.
Jan 17, 2022
by
Mr. Fish
