In-Depth
Heatran@ Air Balloon
Ability: Flash Fire
Nature: Modest
EVs: 252 SpA / 244 Spe / 12 HP
- Earth Power
- Lava Plume
- Taunt
- Stealth Rock
My lead 99% of the time, Heatran is here to set up Rocks first, ask questions later. If I'm up against an obvious lead, I Taunt them. Otherwise, I set up Rocks and split. His other job is to switch into obvious Fire attacks aimed at Scizor, Breloom and Tangrowth. Earth Power is to nail slower, non-balloon Heatran, Ferrothorn, and Magnezone. I chose Lava Plume over Fire Blast because of the 30% chance to burn. Taunt shuts down walls, setup sweepers and other leads. Stealth Rock slaughters Talonflame and Mega Charizard Y. Speed EVs allow Heatran to outspeed other leads in order to Taunt first, as well as act as cleanup later in the match. 252 Special Attack for obvious reasons, and the remaining EVs in HP for a wee bit more bulk. I'm not sure how useful Air Balloon is for a lead, but Leftovers is already being used for Tangrowth.
Azumarill@ Assault Vest
Ability: Huge Power
Nature: Adamant
EVs: 252 Atk / 240 HP / 16 SDef
- Play Rough
- Aqua Jet
- Waterfall
- Superpower
Azumarill is the Fairy and dragon slayer of the team, checking Garchomp and especially Mega Salamence, who's exceptionally common in WiFi battles. I opted for the reliability of Assault Vest over the strong yet high-risk Belly Drum. Play Rough is obvious STAB, killing Dragons where they stand. Waterfall is secondary STAB and Aqua Jet is tertiary STAB and good for revenge killing weakened threats. Her purpose is pretty straight-forward, and will most of the time be preserved for as long as possible. Full EVs in Attack for wrecking things, and 240 EVs in HP to add some bulk to her. The remaining EVs go to Special Defence to raise the boost given by AV.
Breloom@ Toxic Orb
Ability: Poison Heal
Nature: Jolly/Adamant
EVs: 252 Atk / 252 HP / 4 Spe
- Swords Dance
- Mach Punch
- Spore
- Seed Bomb
Breloom is my wallbreaker. His job is to force switches with Spore and set up Swords Dance on the switch, then slay everything with +2 Mach Punch and Seed Bomb. He'll also be my status absorber. Meanwhile, he's healing himself with Poison Heal. The EV spread is pretty straightforward, full investment in HP and Attack with the last bit in Speed. For his nature, I could either run Adamant for additional power or Jolly to outspeed uninvested base 70s and below.
Tangrowth@ Leftovers
Ability: Regenerator
Nature: Bold
EVs: 252 HP / 232 Def / 24 SDef
- Giga Drain
- Knock Off
- Earthquake
- Leech Seed/Sleep Powder
I knew I needed a Tangrowth after seeing it practically win a game by itself, on the losing side, 2-3. I was giddy when I found the right Mirage Spot, and found a Regenerator Tangela at just 20 encounters. Tangrowth's purpose is to Knock Off the opponent's item, then Giga Drain or Earthquake. Rinse, wash, repeat. For the final move, Leech Seed helps recovery and Sleep Powder forces switches. Sleep Powder is a tad redundant with Spore, but then again you can hardly expect Breloom to be able to switch into many attacks. EVs are basic: 252 HP to beef up both defenses, 232 Defence make it a Physicall wall, and the rest help patch up her awful Sp. Defence a little.
Scizor@ Life Orb
Ability: Technician
Nature: Adamant
EVs: 252 Atk / 252 HP / 4 Def
- Bullet Punch
- U-Turn
- Roost
- Tailwind
Scizor is all about crushing the opposition beneath his shiny metal claws. His job is killing Fairies and scouting. Technician boosts the power of Bullet Punch, and when coupled with LO and STAB, it hits like a slightly above average sized anti-tank mine. U-Turn is for scouting. He functions as my lead when I'm not using Heatran, and the two have good synergy together. Sciz resists Water attacks aimed at Heatran, and Heatran can switch into Earthquake with Air Balloon intact, as well as switching into obvious Fire attacks and gaining a Sp. Attack boost. Roost heals damage from Life Orb as well as minor injuries. I chose it over Swords Dance because of U-Turn. Superpower, Knock Off, Pursuit and Tailwind were all competing for the final move but Tailwind won after I looked over my team and realized that it wasn't particularly speedy. Standard Scizor EV spread. Nothing special here, move along.
Sableye@ Slablenite
Ability: Prankster > Magic Bounce
Nature: Bold
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Def / 8 SDef
- Dark Pulse
- Recover
- Will-o-Wisp
- Calm Mind
The jewel of my team (pun intended). As X3Evanescence so helpfully suggested, Mega Sableye fit every requirement for my team. As fate would have it, I already had a nearly perfect Sableye on hand; I just needed to breed for the right nature. I kicked myself for forgetting my favourite Pokémon (actually, Prankster Sableye had crossed my mind in early development, but never came up later). He uses the classic Mega Sableye set. Recover is to take back all of my opponent's hard-earned damage and make 'em rage. I've recently discovered that Mega Sableye keeps Prankster on it's first turn, which makes Will-o-Wisp all the sweeter. Calm Mind boosts Sp. Attack and Sp. Defence, and when alternated with Recover, makes Mega Sableye nearly unstoppable. I usually use him after the other team's Fairies are gone, then go to town. Dark Pulse is STAB and hits a lot of Pokémon hard after a few Calm Minds.
So there you have it, my ORAS WiFi Singles team. Oh, I promised to reveal the origins of the title. Once I had Azumarill on my team I noticed that three of my Pokés had priority attacks (Mach Punch, Bullet Punch and Aqua Jet). Feel free to make suggestions, but bear in mind that all these Pokémon must be bred/traded, which can get tricky. I hope you enjoyed my RMT and can find the time to rate it.