The Biggest Pika Dramafest Of 2021 - Part 2
"PEE HED YOU KILLDED MY DORPING BOYFRIEND" was the sound first heard as Selena harassed a very bored Luke. "You have a boyfriend?" he asked, stunned that someone as dumb and ugly as Selena could attract something other than flies. "YES YOU DERPING PEE HEDED FROOK DOOOOOOORRRRRRPPPPPPP I WROTED A NEW SONG CALLED 'OMPEE LUKE KILLIED MY BOYFRIEND' AND I'LL USE IT TO PROVE MY POINT" Luke casually put corks in his ears as Selena began to 'sing'. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY HEAD IS PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WITH A TAD OF MEGALOMANIACYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AND I FOUND A PEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT WAS LODGED IN MY KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TIS OF THEEEEEEEEEEE OH EM GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LUKE KILLED MY BOYFRIENDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SO I GO SADDY PUKEY VOMIT TURDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES ABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABAB BEETLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GO FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT AND LUKE IS DERPING LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME HE GOES 'LOLOLOLOL DORP' LIKE I DON'T DO THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL POINT IS LUKE IS A PEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED DERP" Gill would've said something about the 'song', but there were no words to describe how stupid and horrifically pathetic it was. Pika wondered what farting beetles had to do with Luke. Luke eventually took the corks out of his ears and asked "Is it over?" "WHAT YOU DIDN'T HEARED MY SONG DORP" "No not really." "I'M GONNA BANISH YOUR DERPING GIRLFRIEND TO THE LAMEHEAD DIMESNION HA HA" "I have a girlfriend?" Selena was so ticked at Luke that she magically sent Pika off to the lamehead dimension and Gill fell to his knees and cried Pika's name before standing up and trying to strangle Selena. However, Luke chopped her head off and that ended that. So they waited around for Pika to come back and used Selena's head as a table so that they could have lunch. A portal eventually opened and Pika, followed by a random miniature Luke, walked out of it very casually. Gill decided not to question why there was a tiny Luke, knowing that Pika would just say nonsensical things and no one would get anywhere. The tiny Luke crawled into Selena's body via her neck and planted a bomb inside before casually leaving and returning to the dimension from which he came as Selena's body exploded into oblivion. "Wanna join us for lunch?" Luke asked Pika cheerfully as Gill gave him death glares. As you can expect, Pika quickly signed up for that and drank more orange juice. The day had returned to relatively normal except for the Selena head table. "OMG LUKE YOU DIDN'T UN-CUT THE MOTHER TREE ROOT!" screamed Bo as he randomly appeared out of thin air. "Oh boy, here we go again..." Luke muttered. As Bo argued with Luke and bored Gill out of his mind, Pika casually went to the place that the root had been cut. She could see it extended very far, so she began to eat it. When she got back, Bo was still arguing with Luke, except Luke had fallen asleep. She tapped Bo on the shoulder and he turned. "I ate the Mother Tree!" she said happily. For a moment, there was dead silence. "YOU DID WHAT?!" Bo screamed as his hair spontaniously caught fire. "I wasn't supposed to?" she asked Gill, confused. Gill facepalmed and once again wondered what the frick he saw in Pika. Then Bo became twenty times his normal size and yeeted toy axes at Pika which explained how he could attempt to cut a tree for about a year and make no progress. However, Pika ate him and casually made Luke drink blueberry cocktails which made him wake up and have a panic attack. And then he had another panic attack because they witnessed Josh Kool approaching.
To be continued...
Feb 8, 2021
by
Gau
The Biggest Pika Dramafest Of 2021 - Part 1
It was a sunny day in the Harvest Moon dimension. The whole island was blanketed in snow that looked gorgeous in the moonlight and the sunlight. Pika took her cat that she had named after herself outside and ran around Waffle Town for a bit. After kicking Selena and Julius who screamed "DORP" off a bridge, she nearly crashed straight into Gill who happened to be hanging around. Pika, excited, was about to give him his 758236568374349867320257983287593548935283.22643286e-7438th cup of tomato juice, but he stopped her. "Pika, I want to talk to you about something." "What is it?" she asked, even more excited because she was far too hyperactive. Gill suddenly looked a bit nervous and awkward, but said "Meet me under Alan's Tree at noon and I'll tell you." Pika, of course, hated waiting. After whining for ten minutes about wanting to talk about it sooner and it not working, she decided to prance around for a few hours. She cut down a tree, but it nearly fell on Luke. She tried to catch a fish, but she stumbled and her hook got caught in Toby's hair. She tried to get a medical checkup because she was starting to fear she had a mental problem, but she spilled miso soup all over Jin and proceeded to knock a computer over by accident. The town was halfway in ruins before she remembered to meet Gill under Alan's Tree. By some sort of magic, she made it there just in time. Gill was red in the face and Pika was overexcited in the brain and they sat there in a situation that made even Pika's cat awkward. "Well, uh... I... can't seem to stop thinking about you..." Gill began. Pika was guzzling down a cup of orange juice despite oranges being out of season, and her reply was a muffled sound that translated to 'wheefy frock' and had nothing to do with anything. "So... so... erm... I... I think I'm..." In-between words, Gill was wondering what the heck he saw in Pika in the first place. "Want some orange juice?!" Pika yelled for no reason, making Gill jump. "Uh, no, thank you... I want to... to say that I- that I- I- I love you, Pika...!" He immediately felt like a moron because the situation became unbearably awkward. And then it became even more awkward because Pika sneeze-coughed out of shock and orange juice shot out her nose and mouth and all over Gill. She rubbed her nose and gave him 'I BEG YOUR PARDON' looks. But before anything could be said, a loud scream of "OH EM DERPY GEE" was heard and Julius ran up the hill. "OMPEE PARLER SWIPPEL I THOUGHT YOU DERPING LOVED ME" he screamed, mistaking Gill for Parlor Swipple. "You thought... what?" Gill was very confused, even more so than the orange juice-faced Pika. "I'M GOING TO BREAK THE DORP UP WITH YOU UNLESS YOU GIVE ME BAKED BEANS" "I... don't recall us being in a relationship. Aren't you the idiot moron who pooped in my shoes and made me buy new shoes only for me to find out that you'd pooped in all the available shoes in Waffle Island?" he asked, gesturing to his bare feet. Pika burst out in laughter and accidentally snorted orange juicey snot onto Julius' face. "OMPEE PARLOR SWIPPLE YOU WANT TO GET BACK THE DERPING UP TOGETHER WITH ME" Julius cried, this time mistaking Pika for Parlor Swipple. Before Pika could even say 'what the frick', Julius kissed her and she screamed and tried to pull away. Gill hit Julius over the head with a crowbar and he exploded, scattering baked beans everywhere. Pika whimpered something about barely being able to breathe and speculated that Julius was trying to absorb her soul and trade it for baked beans. Of course, none of this solved the Gill-is-in-love-with-Pika situation so they sat around awkwardly. Pika now wasn't awkward and was trying to juggle sea urchins as if nothing had happened, but same point. Gill waited for her to remember that he had confessed to being in love with her, but she became bored and wandered off to Ganache Mine District, Gill in pursuit as he patiently waited.
To be continued...
Feb 8, 2021
by
Gau
