King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed
It was a regular day in Taiwan for King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed. N was shoving his head into Parlor Swipple's ear as she sung I Peed In My Bathtub. "OOOOOOHHHHHH MY BATHWATER IS YELLOW AND SMELLS LIKE PEEEEEEEE OH WAIT THAT'S BECAUSE I PEED IN IT LAAAALLALALLALALALAALALLALALALALALALA DORP" She bowed, and King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed applauded. "Wonderful performance, Parlor Swipple. N! Go feed the Shauna heads!" he commanded. N got his head out of Parlor Swipple's ear, his hair tinted gold with earwax, and went to the Shauna head pit. He ripped off an arm and tossed it into the pit and told them it was King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed's arm so they'd eat it. They devoured it and N's arm grew back as he returned to King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed's room. "I'm rather bored." King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed muttered. "HOW ABOUT ANOTHER DERPY SONG?" Parlor Swipple asked. "Nah. Your songs are excellent, but I'm looking for something different today." he replied. "DEERP I HAVE AN IDEA" N screamed. "What is it?" "WE COULD KIDNAP PIKA DERP" "Who is Pika?" "A FROCKY WHEE HEAD WHO IS A PAIN IN MY DORPING BEHIND END REAR" "Hmm... interesting. All right, let's do it!" Pika was adventuring in Japan with Gladion on that day. He looked adorable in his kimono, and Pika looked weird in her tuxedo. But then King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed, accompnied by N and Parlor Swipple, approached them. "Are you Pika?" King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed asked her. "Me?" Pika asked, pointing at herself. "Wait. Who are you?" Gladion asked. He didn't know anything about King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed, but he didn't feel very comfortable when random people marched over all regal and proud asking for his best friend's name. King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed laughed. "Who am I? Haven't you heard?" "If I heard, why would I be asking?" "I! I am King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed, and I intend to kidnap Pika out of sheer boredom!" King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed said kingly. Gladion sent out his Silvally, got on his back, and put Pika down next to him before they sped away. "HEY DERP COME THE FRICK BACK HERE" N screeched. "Parlor Swipple, you know what to do." King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed said, a smug grin on his face. "OK DORP" Magically, Parlor Swipple teleported in front of them. "STOP RIGHT DERPING-" Obviously they weren't gonna stop for her, so Silvally trampled her and she became a pancake. "DEERP" she said befrore un-pancaking and teleporting again, this time far ahead of them. Then she used a lameheaded Magby that sung Parlor Swipple's song's Psychic to trap them in midair. "DORP KING ECKSIC TAIWANESE HED I GOT THEM" "I can see." King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed said with an evil laugh. Pika tried to hold onto Gladion and Gladion tried to shoot them all with fire arrows but they were paralyzed. Pika started crying as they were led to King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed's castle. Gladion and his Silvally were yeeted out a window but Pika had to stay. Gladion didn't even brush himself off before pounding on the door. "Let me in! Let Pika go this instant!" he screamed. All he got was a mental picture of N sticking out his tongue, which was covered in Parlor Swipple's lipstick that he had put on his tongue for no reason, at him, which was mentally transmitted by a derpy Abra. Gladion began to say curse words that should not be repeated. That night, he climbed up the apparently unguarded castle's wall and saw Parlor Swipple and N binge-watching videos they made of Pika being forced to kiss Hau. "OMG IT IS EPICALLY ROMANTIC DERP" Parlor Swipple exclaimed. "YES INDERP I WANT TO KISS PIKA AS WELL" N cried. "OK GO KISS PIKA DORP" "YAAAAAAY DEERP" N then strutted off to kiss Pika and Gladion nearly had five hundred heart attacks. He tried to calm himself slightly, as N could lead him to Pika. He fell through the window and Parlor Swipple noticed him somehow. "OH HI JOSH KOOL DORP" Parlor Swipple greeted him. Gladion then realized that he'd have to act like a moron so Parlor Swipple didn't alert King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed. "FUC HAYHED I HOPE EVERYBODY IN THOS SUITE DEDIES!!!111!!!!!!!!!1!!11111" Gladion said before running off to follow N. N went to a dark chamber where Pika was chained up and mournfully singing love songs. "DORPY PEE HEY PIKA I WANT TO KISS YOU" N said. Pika tried to curl up into a ball and looked terrified. But when N approached her Gladion whacked him over the head and shoved a VHS tape that had the videos of Pika being forced to kiss Hau on it into his ear. "OMDERP WHERE DID YOU COME FROM" he screamed. Gladion undid the chains and picked up Pika before jumping out a window and landing majestically on his feet. Pika was very dizzy. Suddenly, Shauna heads started chasing them. Gladion ran, ran, ran, but became cornered against a building. He held Pika close and snarled at the Shauna heads. "OMG GLADION LET'S MAKE MEMORIES TOGETHER" shouted one. Pika clung to Gladion and cried... very loudly. This awoke King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed from his sleep and he jumped out of a window and landed in the moat. When he climbed out, he approached Gladion. "So! You decided to break your little friend out of captivity! I've got news for you, I'm the king!" "I already knew that, you jerkfaced amphibious rat!" Gladion snarled. "What?! How dare you-" "OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IT'S KING ECKSIC HED I MEAN MR. TAIWANESE I MEAN KING OMG I TASTED YOUR ARMS THEY WERE DELICIOUS!" a Shauna head screamed. "I beg your pardon?" "OMG ECKSIC KING IS HOT LET'S HIT ON HIM TOGETHER!" "OK!" Then the Shauna heads chased King Ecksic Taiwanese Hed into the sunrise, and Gladion was forever nuzzled by Pika greatfully.
The end.
Jan 15, 2021
by
Gau
