Pokémon Rate My Team

Wall for BottomlessSea (page 104)

Lameheads Through Time - Part 2


"OOGA OOGA!" cried a voice. From a cave emerged a prehistoric version of X and his prehistoric chocolate latte. "COCO WIFE! COCO MINE! GO WAY!" prehistoric caveman X screamed. "DERP I WANT TO DRINK COCO!" N screeched and used a baked bean jetpack to jetpack over and snatched prehistoric Coco out of prehistoric X's hands. Then he drank Coco and said "YUM YUM SHE TASTES LIKE PARLOR SWIPPLE'S BATHWATER DERP!" Prehistoric X was furious. "DRANK COCO! N SUCK! N BAD! BAD N!" he screamed and whacked N on the head repeatedly with a club. Older Gladion whistled and a Dracozolt ran over. "Hey, if you give us a ride outta here, my friend here'll sing Hau Thriller and Bau Triller." he said. The Dracozolt was only too happy to oblige and the frocky whee heads sat on its tail as it ran away. "'CAUSE THIS IS HAU THRILLER! HAU THRILLER NIGHT! AND NO ONE GIVES A CRUD IF YOU SEE THIS, SCREAM, AND DIE! YOU KNOW IT'S HAU THRILLER! HAU THRILLER NIGHT! YOU'RE FEEDING HAU MALASADAS, NOBODY KNOWS WHY, HAU THRILLER TONIGHT, YEAH, OOH!" Pika sung wholeheartedly, which younger Gladion enjoyed. By the time they reached a secluded place, Pika was singing Bau Triller. "CUD DIS ID BAU TRILLER! BAU TRILLER NOOT! WHERE LUSAMINE WRITES PARENTING BOOKS AND IS THE OG LAMEHEAD FACE! YOO NO IDS BAU TRILLER! BAU TRILLER NOOT! HAUHEAD IS CHEATING ON HIS HEAD WITH HIS FROCKY FACE, BAU TRILLER TWONOOT, YEA, WOO!" It was hard to shut her up, and they thanked the Dracozolt. Gladion opened another portal. "Hmm, N's lameheaded beam is still destabilizing the portal's molecular structure... basically, I have no idea where we'll end up if we hop through. Still." he said. Pika cried. But then N was rushing toward them, prehistoric X in pursuit. Once more, he tackled them and they flew through the portal... prehistoric X included. This time, they ended up in the distant future. "HOT DERPITY I'M HOME!" N screamed and threw a dance party while singing Parlor Swipple's newest song, 'Tooting Splees'. "OOOOOHHH DERPY DERPY POO! I HAVE A TOOTING SPLEEEEEEEEEE THAT IS LODGED IN MY KNEEEEEEEEE! MY FRIENDS SAY TO ME, 'GO GET A LOBOTOMY', BUT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND AND FANGIRL OVER ALAN WHEE! PEE PEE I EAT MY TOOTING SPLEE WITH SOME SOUPY GHRAM CRACKERRRRRRRRS! CRACKERRRRRRRS! OH MY DERP I POOED IN THE S'MORES BECAUSE WE HAD NO CHOCOLATE LEFT! MY BATHTUB IS STAINED WITH AN IMPLOSIONAL CREAK THAT CAUSES ME TO GO OMG! FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I SHIP PRIMAL X PIKA DORRRRRRPY-" However, his 'song' was cut short when Primal appeared, wearing futuristic armor stuff. "FRICK YOU NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" he screamed and Water Spouted N right in the rear end. Then he looked at Gladion and young Gladion and Pika. "Dude are you guys from the past or something? Or are you just the newest members of Pika and Gladion's family?" he asked. "WAIT WE GET MARRIED?!" Pika screamed so loud that it nearly made Gladion go deaf. Then she huggled the frick out of Gladion. "I hate the future already." he groaned. "Oh, whatever... I have a problem, and I could use your help. You guys were pretty good back in the past, and for once I can't stand up to the lameheads alone." Primal looked as if he was hard-pressed asking for help, but he decided to. "Huh? 'Sup?" Pika asked. "Josh Fool is at it again. That guy is completely tyrannical, and he has all these dumb alts guarding him, not to mention Gligurr's as well. I've tried to Water Spout them to kingdom come, but they keep making more alts and before I know it they're about to shove a lamehead happy meal into my mouth. So I was wondering if you could help me exterminate them." "Ooh, sounds fun! Count this really young kid in!" Pika cried, pointing to young Gladion, who looked like he was still having fun but had no idea what was happening. Older Gladion sighed loudly. "All right, I'm in."

To be continued...
Jan 9, 2021 by Gau
Lameheads Through Time - Part 1


It was a regular day. Pika had stolen some FP nerd's Celebi and traveled back into the past so she could kidnap young Gladion for some odd reason. Of course, older Gladion was tracking her down, and so was younger Lusamine who was freaking out because her son was gone, causing her to stick Nihilegos on her head. At a market, N, equipped in futuristic gear, was buying a carton of milk. "DORP DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE?" he asked the poor guy who was just trying to scan his milk in peace. "No." "DERPY YES I DO AREN'T YOU PARLOR SWIPPLE?!" "What on Earth makes you think I'm Parlor Swipple?" "DEERP I LOVED YOUR NEW ALBUM 'PEE TURDS ANNONYMOUS'!" Despite being from the future, this N wasn't very bright. In fact, he was as dumb as current and past Ns. Possibly dumber. Pika waltzed into the market unnoticed, young Gladion in her arm. Of course, young Gladion didn't even care that he was being kidnapped and looked like he was having fun. Pika grabbed N's milk carton and drank from it before handing it to young Gladion. He, of course, guzzled it down. N didn't even notice them and fanboyed over the guy he had mistaken for his girlfriend who was about to call the cops and report that some guy who was high was annoying him. "Pardon me, sir, but that little boy in that girl's arm just drank all your milk." "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT DERP I DON'T BREASTFEED LITTLE KIDS!" "No, I mean the milk you were trying to buy." N turned and saw Pika and young Gladion. Pika yeeted the milk carton at him before running off. "OMG IT'S PARLOR SWIPPLE WHEN DID SHE HAVE A DERPING BABY?!" N cried. "That wasn't Parlor Swipple, you twit, that was the child kidnapper who's been running around." "WHAT HOW DARE YOU DERPILY CALL MY GIRLFRIEND AN ECKSIC HED!" "...What?" Ignoring the dumbfounded scanner guy, N chased after Pika. "PARLOR SWIPPLE COME BACK DERP!" Pika looked over her shoulder at N and was completely confused. N enabled his hempcrete jetpack and sped toward her at lightning-fast speeds before tackling her and trying to kiss her because he was dumb enough to mistake his female archnemisis for his girlfriend. But young Gladion grabbed his bow and arrow and pointed it at N, half an inch from his eye. "Don't touch my mommy." he said. Indeed, young Gladion had ditched Lusamine and decided that Pika would be his new mother when he was kidnapped. And he was not a fan of N, as he could smell lameheads from a mile away. "OMDERP PEAR SWOOP OUR SON IS SO CUTE!" N screeched happily. Young Gladion was fed up, and fired the arrow. It went through N's eye, brain, skull, and then hit the fire alarm button. The scanner guy slammed his head into the counter because he just couldn't catch a break. N ingested baked beans and his eye and skull grew back, though the same cannot be said for his brain. "Pika!" called a voice. Older Gladion ran toward the scene, boiling mad. "DON'T CALL MY GIRLFRIEND A PIKOLIN YOU FREAKY TREE DERP!" N screamed and jetpacked toward Gladion angrily. However, his jetpack fell apart and he fell at Gladion's feet. "How dignifying." Gladion said sarcastically before stomping all over N and glaring at Pika. "For Arceus' sake! Every weekend it's the same thing, you go back in time or forward in time and do something stupid that always involves lameheads! Can't you take a break?!" "But Gla-Gla! I got young you and he's so precious!" Pika whined before holding up young Gladion, who indeed looked precious. Then N stood up, furious. "YOU! ARE NOT! PARLOR SWIPPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DERP!" he screamed. Pika and Gladion looked at each other in a 'yeah I have no idea' manner. Pika handed younger Gladion to older Gladion and yeeted Poke Balls at N, delaying him. "Gla-Gla, get us outta here!" "All right, all right!" A portal was opened to the current time, but just as older Gladion was about to put his younger self on the ground and jump into the portal, N fired a baked bean laser at it and tackled all three of them in. So the three frocky whee heads and one lamehead ended up in a different time: 666 Whee.Scree, age of the prehistoric Pokemon. In this time, Archen, Crainidos, Archeops, Rampardos, Kabutops, Arctozolt, and Dracozolt were making a conga line and singing Hau Thriller. Pika and the two Gladions fled N as he tried to fire baked bean lasers at them.

To be continued...
Jan 9, 2021 by Gau
A Pk is a dumb idiot that my mom was arguing with on Facebook for some reason I forget.
Jan 9, 2021 by Gau
Raiders Of The Lost X


X ran through the temple while being chased by a giant derpy N head boulder and wondering how he got his job. Just as the N head boulder was about to hit him, he leapt over a chasm and the N head boulder rolled into it. He was safe. He looked at his reward, the sacred treasure of the Toople Pleat family: a tiny N x Parlor Swipple statue. Happy and triumphant, he went back to Frock Town and stopped by the Ecksic Hed, a bar. "Yo, barkeep! Gimme some malt liqwhee!" he said. The bartender was an eleven year old girl named Pika who seemed out of place. "Paper or plastic?" she asked. "What?" Then she poured malt liqwhee all over his head and ran off. Of course, X was very confused. So he grabbed the chocolate latte sitting on the counter and was just about to drink it when... "HEY, HEY! X, it's me!" it cried. X hastily put it down. "Sorry, Coco!" He lit a cigarette like any random Greninja would do before Gladion sat down next to him. His eyes narrowed as he met Gladion's already narrow ones. "What?" he asked aggressively. They were in silence for a moment before Gladion spoke. "You see that lamehead over there?" he asked, pointing at N, who was being derpy with Parlor Swipple. "Yeah." "I want you to kill him." "WAIT, WHAT?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN INDIANA JONES PARODY NO WONDER MY LINES WERE OFF-" "Just shut up and do it." X thought about it for a minute. Then he pulled out a gun and shot N in the middle of him screaming "DERP I'M A LUSAMINE FANBOY!". Unfortunately, it went in his mouth and he ate it. "YUMMY YUM BULLET DORPY HEAD!" "Nice job, ace." Gladion said sarcastically. X was furious and shot N multiple times, each time with him eating the bullets. "Hey, barkeep." Pika, who was busy drinking malt liqwhee instead of serving it to people, sat up, accidentally whacking her head on the counter. "Ya say...?" she asked. Gladion groaned. "Give me a molscree cocktail." X was shocked that they served those, as they weren't things you exactly drank. "Aye aye cap'n..." Pika said before nearly falling over and then making an alchoholic drink. "Here ya go..." "But that's just regular-" "Shush." Gladion told X and poured some LEMONADE essence into it. X was about to freak out. LEMONADE essence was a rare thing to come by. Then it magically transformed into a molscree cocktail and Gladion yeeted it at N. There was a fire-y explosion and Gladion drank Coco. "OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" X screamed. "I wan' huggles..." Pika said in a rather drunken fashion. The dust settled and N was on the ground, vomiting up Parlor Swipple albums. X and Gladion got into a fight and Pika looked confused. She fell over the counter and poked X in the eye, which distracted him while she huggled Gladion. "DOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYY HEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" screamed a voice. N suddenly rose up with demon wings and began to fire baked beans at X, Pika, and Gladion. X hopped around desperately, and Gladion used his body as a shield to protect Pika from the baked beans. He then brought out his phone and called Primal, who soon arrived in Ecksic Hed, armed to the fin. He Water Spouted Ticked-As-Frick Nskull, making him collapse. "PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DERP FROCK HEADS GO DED!" Parlor Swipple screamed and leapt at Pika for little reason. But she gorged out Parlor Swipple's eye with a glass and kicked her in the stomach. Gladion engaged in hand-to-hand combat with Ticked-As-Frick Nskull and knocked him unconscious. They stood victorious. But then a loud screech reached them. "PRIMALLLLLLLLLLLL MEMORIES!" Parasect-eyed Shauna screamed, hopping through the window. "OH HOLY FRICK-" Primal screamed and Water Spouted Parasect-Shauna. But she didn't surrender. So Gladion grabbed Josh Kool, who was shouting "FUC U ALL UR ****HEADS" as he was yeeted at Parasect-Shauna, ending up in her stomach. Then Gladion yeeted X at Shauna and he ended up in Josh Kool's stomach. Then he dragged Pika away, and by the time X was out of the lameheads' stomachs, they were gone, as if they never had came.

The end.
Jan 9, 2021 by Gau
Sasuke from Naruto
Jan 9, 2021 by Ditto
I downvoted you! Haha!!!
(Joking LoL just do LoL)
Jan 9, 2021 by Hoenndragon
680*
Jan 9, 2021 by Hoenndragon
Sasuke
Jan 9, 2021 by Ditto
Yh LoL about 700 more
Jan 9, 2021 by Hoenndragon
I don't think you'll lose in the tournament. You're great, I won the first round of my first tournament so you'll be great. I even lost before sign ups even closed because I can't access Showdown. The screen freezes
Jan 9, 2021 by ★~ProfDelldell~★