The Lameheads' Romance-aton
"DERP HA HA DORP!" N cackled. "THE DERPY MACHINE IS COMPLETE!" Parlor Swipple screamed. The machine was hot pink with a picture of N and Parlor Swipple kissing and screaming at the same time, if that were possible. "DORP DERP WE CAN MAKE THE FROCKY WHEE HEADS FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND THEN BEAT THEM DORP!" N said before turning on the machine. Throughout the world, crappy Parlor Swipple love songs played, such as 'Derp I Love N', 'N Is Smrt And I Am In Love With Him', 'I'm Gonna Marry N After We Break Up Again', 'N And I's Stomach Acids Are In Love', and a song that started with 'DERP LISTEN TO MY LOVE SONG LALALALLALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALAL I LOVE NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN AND GIVE N SMOOCHES'. The lameheaded power of the songs broadcasted throughout the land, making girls fall in love with boys they didn't even have any romantic attraction to. This bred infernal ships such as Pika x Hau, Lillie x Gladion, Shauna x Primal, and Y x Magical Colin. The only one who was happy about this was Hau because now Pika was hanging onto his arm and didn't seem to want to let go. Gladion wanted to commit suicide. Primal wanted to commit Shaunacide. Magical Colin wanted to kill Y but X would always stop him. Also, Safrina Boyne was now in love with X. N and Parlor Swipple broke up with each other and got back together again while Lusamine married Groudon. "DERP OUR ETERNAL LOVE IS LIKE DESOLATE LAND THAT MAKES MY EARDRUMS SCREAN" Lusamine said during the wedding. "DORP YOUR FACE MAKES ME THINK OF YUMMY HAU-FLAVORED BAKED BEANS" Groudon said. "PEE KAY DORP YOU ARE OFFENSIVELY I MEAN OFFICIALLY MARRIEDED!" Parlor Swipple said. That's when the lameheads' limited brain cells realized that they were supposed to be stopping the frocky whee heads. So the lamehead army charged toward Primal, who was thinking of creative ways to murder Shauna. As the N clones tried to swarm him, he whacked them with Shauna and drove them off. But then Shauna climbed onto the ceiling and her eyes turned to Parasect's. "Frick." Primal said. So the lameheads tried Gladion next. But as they tried to attack him, Lillie turned demented and shrieking. "OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG DON'T HURT MY BROTHER WHOM I AM NOW IN LOVE WITH!" she screamed before doing some kind of martial arts and driving off the clones. But when she turned, Gladion was gone. He had fled and jumped into a river. When the lameheads reached Hau, he turned into Livid Hauhead. "DON'T COME NEAR PIKA OR I WILL MALASADA AXE YOU!" he roared before doing just that. Then they tracked down Magical Colin. Much to X's dismay, he force-fed Y to the only Parlor Swipple clone. "Y NOOOOOO!" X screamed before diving down the clone's throat. All the N clones did that as well and the Parlor Swipple clone was too overloaded with Ns and X and Y to move. Junior noticed the scene and shoved a HeadX truck down the clone's throat as well, shook hands with Magical Colin, and went off to go find Gladion. When they reached the river, Gladion slowly poked his head out. He had been playing Go Fish with Primal for hours and was just about to win a game. "Hey dad, I think the lameheads made girls fall in love with random guys." Junior told him. "Oh, really? I hadn't noticed." Gladion said sarcastically. They decided to stop the lameheads' rein of terror. They tracked down Livid Hauhead, which really wasn't hard, and proceeded to go to the building that said "DERP N AND PARLOR SWIPPLE'S SECRET BASE IS HERE" on a sign. They went inside and saw N working on another machine. "OMDERP YOU INFILTRATED MY YOUR BASE SECRETO NERO INGODNITO!" "...What?" Junior asked. They ignored N's dumb lameheadedness and Primal Water Spouted the machine, breaking it into tiny pieces. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY DORP!" Parlor Swipple screamed. Across the land, girls stopped crushing on random boys. Once Pika came to her senses, she stormed into the secret base and tried to pummel N. However, Gladion stopped her and let Junior pummel him. So Pika pummeled Parlor Swipple. After they were soundly defeated, the frocky whee heads left the base, which promptly blew up for little reason. "Say, Junior... who fell in love with you?" Pika asked as they walked home. "Believe me, you don't want to know." Junior replied. But then someone blocked their path: Parasect-eyed Shauna. "PRIMALLLLLLLLLL... LET'S MAKE SOME MEMORIES WITH N..." "Aw frick." Primal groaned.
The end.
Jan 2, 2021
by
Gau
