Primal And The Shiny Lugia
People gathered around as Primal began to recount a tale from his childhood, where he had tried to Shiny hunt Lugia. It was a hard-to-find Pokemon for sure. He kept having to go back in time a few seconds by saying "A, B, select, start!" so he could attempt to make it Shiny. He hunted it throughout the summer, but it didn't come. But then he began to use a different method of time travelling. He'd touch the air in a certain manner and it would work just like his other method. One day he was Shiny hunting Lugia again and was approached by young N. Now, Primal didn't know N at the time, nor did he know that N was a dumb lamehead. "DERP DON'T USE THE AIR-TOUCH METHOD!" young N said, sounding even dumber than he did now. "W-Why not?" Primal asked, his voice rather squeaky. "IT DOESN'T WORK DERP YOU HAVE TO USE THE AY BEE SELLECT STNART METHOD!" Primal was confused, but began to use the A + B + Select + Start method again. He did this for months and found nothing. "I'm never going to find this Lugia..." he muttered to himself and used the air-touch method randomly. At once, Lugia came out of the sea. But his blue was now pink. He was Shiny. Primal screamed before trying to grab a Master Ball out of his pocket. Suddenly, N ran at Primal, livid, and knocked him to the ground. "DORP WHY DID YOU USE THE AIR-TOUCH METHOD I TOLD YOU NOT TO!" "What?! But it worked! Look! Lugia is Shiny!" Primal cried. N looked up at Lugia. "OH MY DERP!" N screamed. But then a loud "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" reached Primal's ears. There, swinging from a vine that was suspended by absolutely nothing, were young Pika and Gladion. They both looked absolutely precious as little kids. Gladion was clinging to the vine and Pika was holding his hand with one of her own. But her other hand held a Master Ball. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no...!" Primal muttered in a panicky way to himself as he desperately tried to get up and grab his own Master Ball. But Pika flung hers first, and it hit Lugia. Lugia was sucked inside, the Master Ball shook three times, and clicked. Primal didn't know how to react. Scream? Cry? Beat the living heck out of Pika? But it was too late for thinking. Pika sent out the Lugia that was technically hers and Gladion let go of the vine. They landed on Lugia's back and flew off into the sunset, which was odd as they were supposed to be inside of a cavern, and waved to Primal. Primal then screamed and cried and beat N up. After Primal finished the story, people laughed and Pika sent out her Lugia. She pet his neck and he nuzzled her. "DERP THAT'S NOT HOW IT HAPPENED!" N cried, standing up. Primal folded his arms and glared. "All right, wise guy. Tell us the 'real' story." he said. "THANKS DERP!" N said before bowing. "SO I WAS DERPING AROUND WITH PARLOR SWIPPLE IN THE CAVERNY PLACE AND WE BROKE UP WITH EACH OTHER AGAIN AND THEN I FOUND PRIMAL FORCE-FEEDING SHINY LUGIA ANTI-LAMEHEAD FOODS DERP SO I STEPPED IN AND MADE PRIMAL EAT BAKED BEANS IN DORPY LAMEHEAD FLAVOR AND LUGIA WAS DERPILY SAVED AND WE LISTENED TO PARLOR SWIPPLE MUSIC TOGETHER DERP!" N waited for applause. There was none. Parlor Swipple would've applauded, but Gladion had knocked her unconscious for shouting 'DERPY DORP PEE KAY' every time Primal finished a sentence as he told the story. "OK, then tell us how Lugia ended up in my possession and why he hates Parlor Swipple music." Pika said. "GLADLY DERP SO AFTER THAT LUGIA BECAME MY NEW GIRLFRIEND AND SHE LIKED PARLOR SWIPPLE MUSIC SO WE LISTENED TO IT A LOT BUT THEN PIKA USED HER FROCKY WHEE HEAD WASHING MACHINE TO MAKE HER A FROCKY WHEE HEAD AND SHE HATED PARLOR SWIPPLE MUSIC AND PIKA CAUGHT HER DERP!" Lugia was outraged. He flew up into the air and let out a Roar: "JUST BECAUSE I'M PARTIALLY PINK DOESN'T MEAN I'M A GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRL!" This Roar switched N and Parlor Swipple's places and N ended up with Parlor Swipple's hair and vice versa. "THEN WHY ARE YOU PINK DORP?!" N asked. "You think I know? Ask Game Freak. Or ask it on Pokemon DB." Lugia said. This was obviously so that he could flag N's question. Everyone prepared their comments as N asked:
DERP WHY IS LUGIA PINK WHEN SHE'S SHINY????????????/
asked 10 seconds ago by Derpy_Lamehead6
4 flags
I'm not a girl you freaking idiot.
commented 9 seconds ago by Shiny Lugia
@Shiny Lugia he's not going to get anything right.
"DERP I'M N I HEART PARLOR SWIPPLE AND PEE MY PANTS" -N 2020
commented 7 seconds ago by PrimalKyogre
N is a Sad Hauhead Puppet Radio fanboy.
commented 6 seconds ago by SaneBoyGladion
DERP DON'T YOU DOUBT N HE'S A GENIUS AND HE LOVES BREAD TURDS THAT GO TEHOHOPWHFIEHFKJWEBFJKEBFKLEBGKJEHNFKH*#%*#Y%*Y*$#T*&#(RHFN#HGT*FHN#OITH(ON#oth9HtoHFO3hr)G$ WHICH MEANS DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP DORP
commented 5 seconds ago by Parlor Swipple
@Poolor Swippee what even that looked like the result of me going to Glitch City Academy.
commented 4 seconds ago by CrazyGirlPika
@Derpy_Lamehead6, I have this to say.
***See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya (because you're a freaking moron and I'm flagging your question meaning it's about to get hidden).***
commented 1 second ago by Junior
N, with his limited brainpower, tried to figure out who had flagged him. Shiny Lugia might have been Coco. PrimalKyogre was probably Nurse Joy. SaneBoyGladion was most certainly X. CrazyGirlPika had to have been Magical Colin. Junior was, without a shadow of a doubt, Luke. "DERP MAGICAL COLIN HOW DARE YOU CALL MY GIRLFRIEND A POO PEE!" N screeched. "What?" Magical Colin asked, looking completely confused as to what was happening. "X DERP YOU SHOULD SEE HAUPUTTED RADISAD IT'S EPICAL!" N screamed at X, who was sitting under a tree with revived Coco. "Beg pardon?" X asked. N grabbed Coco's cup. "YES YOU ARE A GIRL DORP!" "Uh yeah I know." Coco said. N dragged Nurse Joy out of a Pokemon Center. "DORP I GET LOTS OF STUFF RIGHT!" he screamed before yeeting her back into the Pokemon Center. Then he opened up a lamehead rift to the Harvest Moon dimension and pulled Luke out of it. "DORP I'LL SEE YA BE BEAYEYAYCYGYBWYUBUBFYBADUSFBUBYSBUAVFBCVIBDSLBVNLDSNG!" Before the rather freaked out Luke could reply to what N nonsensically babbled, N put him back into the Harvest Moon dimension. "Aye." Pika said for no reason. "DERP DON'T SAY AYE IT'S A MEANIE RUDE RUDY BADDY BAD WORD!" N screamed. Everyone was bored out of their minds by now. "Aeroblast." Pika said. Lugia then Aeroblasted N and Parlor Swipple. "DORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP I'M BREAKING UP WITH LUGIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" N screamed before blasting off to the moon.
The end.
Dec 31, 2020
by
Gau
