Wall for BM™ (page 61)

I've noticed something with my neighbors.

So far, one said she has reported us, and another one threatened to. Or maybe it was the same one. I can't keep track. Anyway, apparently my mom yelling at some kids to shut up is way, way worse than the kids screaming all day for literally no reason as the parents just sit there and do absolutely nothing about it. And her saying that she's glad nobody died in a fire is way, way worse than one of those idiots accidentally starting the fire with a bloody firework. Because everybody knows we're just a bunch of troublemakers who love to harass people.

But meanwhile, our neighbors blast music through an open door (also it echoes a lot), let their kids scream like they're being killed, yell at each other obnoxiously, slam doors loudly, and all-around act like morons. And we haven't reported them for being buttheads (yes I know very mature) all day.

Hm. Interesting.

My mom: "Get your feral boyfriend a tent. That's love."
Me: "Yeah, I suppose you would be the expert on that."

Here are some quotes that sum me up perfectly.


"Never gonna give Gau up
Never gonna let Gau down"

"You're REAL tough when you're hidin' behind a fat woman!"

"I like butter."

"Aww..."

"If it wasn't so stupid, it'd be genius."

"Super Caveman RPG: Legend of the Seven Pogos."

"Once upon a time, I died."

"I am going to rip your guts out!"

"Blond."

"Today, I blasted Megalomania at 1 AM and did what could be loosely described as a dance but more closely resembled a drunken bird having a seizure."

"I can't wait to grow up so I can yell at my stupid neighbors, stupid roommate, stupid coworkers, and stupid customers."

"Oh god that's cute."

Multiple times, I've made 'chat rooms', where some random characters do random stuff randomly. These are always stupid but I find them fun. They're fun in a stupid way. This particular chat room was a lamehead chat room. You know, Enneth, Parlor Swipple, Josh Kool's fictional version, all that. But then the Frocky Whee Heads (AKA non-lameheads) 'infiltrate' it. Here are some mildly funny lines from THE DERPING REE SADDETH PEELOR POOPLE CHAT ROOM (yes that's what it's called)


"DEEREEEEEERERERERRP"

","

"head"
"head"
"head,"
"OMG HE CAN TYPE HEAD"
"amazing."
"(incomprehensibly proud gibberish)"
"head"

"FUC U FUCHEDS!!!!!!!!!!!!1"
"fuc"
"Oh great he's learning from Josh Kool."
"Well, he does take on the behavior of monsters."

"JOSH KOOLETH MCKEWL SAVETH US DERP"
"His name isn't Josh Kooleth McKewl it's Joshua Fuched McCool. >:("

"Were Were Were Were Reefer"
"?"
"were"
"Stupid thing I was trying to say EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE for heck's sake.
"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"
"Is he going to copy 99% of what we say?"
"99%"
"I'll take that as a yes"
"yes"

"FUC U FUCHEDS IM A POKEMON MASTER AND I WANT TO KILL FIZZ"
"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee fuc 99% hey were head,"
"I couldn't have said it better myself."

"earmuffles"
"earmuffles"
"earmuffles"
"earmuffles"

"Yeah my baby who's two years older than me. :D"

"geev"

"Say, the lameheads have been quiet. I thought this was their chat room."
"They're likely having a baked bean eating contest and blasting Parlor Swipple music to the tune of them vomiting."
"E A T I N G"
"E A T I N G"
"I wuv eating."
"wuv"
"wuv"
"Ah yes, wuv."
"The wuv, the wuv
Where is the wuv, the wuv, the wuv?
The wuv, the wuv
Where is the wuv, the wuv, the wuv?"
"Hopefully not here."

"heds"

"My brain cells. Someone please evacuate them."
"Gladly."
"OK, never mind, I'm keeping them."
";-;"
"cells"
"cells"

"gaaaaoaaoaooaoaoaooaoohohohohohohohhahhahah BAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH"
"Was that supposed to be a 'love song' too?"
"I don't know. It sounds like he's barfing."
"barfing"
"I was barfing romantically, for your information."

"I wuv you."
"wuv"

"I'm not jealous."
"Really?"
"No I lied."

"head"
"That is so deep."
"deep"
"I don't see the appeal."
"see"
"deepsee"

"Bau Triller noot"
"I am impressed."

"I am, but at least I make sense when I'm hypocritical-"

"Because he's annoying as hell."
"I could say the same for you..."

"I ask because that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard"
"Ha! You tell 'im!"
"OH ENNETH GEE I DORPING PEED"
"Except maybe that."

"REEEEEEEE DERP"
"OH MY DORP STOP HORTING ENNETHS FEELINGGS"
"no"

"FUC U I HOPE YOU GET DIED OVER BY A TRUCK!!!!!1!1111!1!!!!!1"
"I no like you
you no good spelling"


BONUS QUOTE: "And I never said Gau was beautiful!"
[I'm not sure what that had to do with... anything, but enjoy it.]

I remember reading something on Quotev once. I think it was called Astrid Sporks Badfics or something similar to that. Some kid apparently named Astrid took crappy fanfics from god knows where on the internet and made a mockery of them. I remember this one Zalgo x edgy emo Mary Sue OC fanfic. I didn't even know what Zalgo was until then. Apparently a creepypasta guy and something to do with comic books. Regardless, you have to be really stupid to write something that cringe. I really don't get why emo ten year olds wanna ship their Mary Sue OCs with demented fictional nightmare creatures. I mean, I kinda like reading creepypastas because they can be creepy and it's kinda unnerving to worry that a demonic video game thing can come out of your console and murder you (if you didn't know I mostly read video game creepypastas), but I don't recall ever thinking "OMG I SHOULD SHIP PEEKAH WITH JELLY THE BILLER!!!11!!11one!11!!1". Not even I'm that dumb. Anyway, the fanfic was (beeping noises) awful, as you could expect. Mar-Mar (I literally can't remember her name but I can remember that some other character called her that and she hated it) whined a lot and acted emo, Zalgo became a teacher and simped for her (I'm being completely serious), and some other nonsensical crap happened. It was so pathetic. But fortunately, there was an amusing commentary to get me through it. I believe there was also a "Mar-Mar being a b*tch" count, among lots of others. God I love commentary. I always search for commentary when I read crappy fanfics because it's funnier and makes it more bearable. Definitely worth randomly randoming- I mean reading for a laugh.

honk mimimimimimi

Akira: "Who's a badass?"
Me: "Well, don't ask them."

"You're great at singing."
[*screaming]

"Those sons of bloody hell!"

"SO YOU DIDN'T STOP LEARNING STUFF AFTER ALL YAY POGO!"

"It seems like they're twitching insanely from side to side."

"Oh, how cute! Friend!"

"Pogo dealing 800 damage over here."

"I am really scared to know how I Charmed you."

"The ultimate way of interruption: a caveman headbonks the crap out of you."

"Death Blossom? That sounds like an emo Warriors OC or an edgy Warriors fanfiction writer."
[I'm not even close to wrong.]

Armor is wild and very strong.
"Oh, how cute! It's perfect!"

"Wow, a bone doesn't fit in a keyhole. Real deep, ninja man."

"I am going to fight a turtle."
[Unfortunately untrue.]

"Die, wherever and whatever you are!"

"Roly Poly? Looks more like an embryo."

"There better be a good reward at the end of this. And I better still be young when I find it."

"Fire-breathing puppies?"

"His clothing defies physics. Which is a good thing."

"Aww, are you smiling?"

"I DON'T LIKE YOU! STOP MAKING POGIE CRY!"

"Pogo disapproves of you."

"You'd think it'd be easy to miss a jumping headbonk. Apparently not."

"Dang. This is the first time Pogo has missed his headbonk."
[Let it be known that on 1:54 PM, Monday, July 25th, 2022, Pogo missed his headbonk. Yes, I wrote down the exact time. It was the first time, and I think he missed two other times afterward as well. Didn't write down the time for those.]

What's-his-face: "It didn't work?!"
Me: "HOLY CRAP HOW DID IT NOT WORK?!"

"Leave. Pogie. ALONE!"

"There better be a boss fight.
...No. Just a sword."
[Galactic-scale disappointment.]

You obtained a shroud of demons.
"Oh, just what I always wanted!"

"How can that possibly miss?"

"Alice's biscuits are mine."

"Did you just say you never miss... as you miss four times?"

"He must have a really hard head."

"Ah, the overkill move."

"POGO! DOOR!"

You obtained a fertility charm.
"Yeah, uh... I'll... put that back..."

Akira: "Why is there a statue of that giant freak here?"
Me: "Because they love giant freaks."

"Oh-h-h shi-"
[When you see the final boss, you, too, may have a similar reaction.]

"My little pureling..."
[wait what is a pureling and why did i say it]

(tearing up slightly out of pure horror) "O-Okaaaay..."

Oboromaru: "I will return the favor."
Me: "You'd better!"

"OH DAMN NO POGO!"

"POGO OH MY GOD YOU FRICKING SAINT!"
[Saint Pogo living a hit.]

"I feel like crying."

"That is disturbing every time."

"I'm really glad I broke up with my wife."

Oboromaru: "I am ready!"
Me: "SLAY HIM WITH ME!"


[WARNING: Me having a mental breakdown worse than the Car Battler Joe incident ahead.]

"I DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU-U!"

"Oh... god..."

"I don't... want to..."

"You really want me to, don't you...?"

"Go to sleep, go to sleep..."

[End of mental breakdown.]


"Think about it. If I can crack your password, you need a new one."
[Fun fact: I started a second file and I said this while playing The Distant Future.]

Yeah. Probably dreamed about Live A Live (which he sees as a prehistoric dating sim) and DB too.

"No joy in life, no comfort in death
This is why we all lose, this is why we fall by the wayside"
-some edgy song I came up with recently

Ok