Lamenting Gourds: The Game even though it isn't a game
"OMG SPARKLY SH- I MEAN LIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" Umbra screamed baldly as Lumos threw a disco ball at his face. It shattered, and Umbra died.
- some random period of time later -
"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO oh wait I didn't deaded?" Umbra stared at himself in amazement and smoked crack in the hopes that it would improve his parenting of his nonexistent children. Then his skin broke or whatever. "Oh yeah maybe I should find Internet Clip Sus's soul or whatever." he realized as he attempted to roast the Mortem Orb over a fire. Then he screamed Eclipsus's name into canyons, to the sky, and under rocks. Only after thirty years of screaming at random objects did he find Eclipsus's soul, which fused with the lightly toasted Mortem Orb to form Eclipsanic Unleashed. "kewl" Eclipsanic Unleashed said. "Well let's go find Shewdew and Peach's souls and smoke crack." "OK."
- potentially sixty years later -
"Hello? Is this one-eight-hundred-crack-on-an-eighteen-wheeler?" Umbra asked, chewing on the Mortem Orb, which was now golden brown, while talking on a phone. "They've stopped returning your calls Umbra." Pitch said. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOooooOOoooooooooooOooOOOOooo!" Umbra shrieked. Eclipsanic Unleashed sobbed and randomly bit off Polaris's face. He would've cried if he'd had a face, but he didn't, so he just died. "WTF" Jazz, who was there randomly because random reasons, exclaimed. She then did Omega stuff and got bigger ears before throwing an entire Walmart at Eclipsanic Unleashed. It spontaneously combusted and Eclipsanic Unleashed suddenly started bleeding profusely, which made sense as he only had 13% of his skin left. So he shoved Pitch down his throat and stopped bleeding. Umbra was so horrified that he dropped his crack pipe, which shattered. Shade had a gory heart attack because those can be gory because I say so and cried. "haha ecks dee" Eclipsanic Unleashed laughed evilly. "wut" Jazz gasped. Then Eclipsanic Unleashed killed her. "Hi I exist I think wait do I exist?" Lumos asked. "nobody cares!!!1!!11!11 embreh and pick kill die murder death died cease living functions lemon!!1!one!!1!!1!" Eclipsanic Unleashed ordered. Umbra and Shade glanced at each other, then shook their heads. Umbra stepped forward. "Eclipsus, this has to stop. You are evil and bad. Eviler and badderer than me, even, and I'm an extremely overused crack-smoking villain who got hit with a disco ball. Also you are bad." "Yeah you suck." Shade added. Eclipsanic Unleashed had a stroke as Umbra and Shade disobeyed him disobediently. So he killed Shade. "Ohs noes!" Lumos cried because... I dunno, he wasn't dead. "Oh sh- Lemon absorb my soul please so that you can stop bad evil evil bad bad bad bad evil evil bad evil evil guy that I brought back to life!" "OK." Lumos said before absorbing his soul. So then that happened. For a period of six years, there was silence. "Uh what are we supposed to do again?" "idk"
- insert construction noises here -
- insert portal noises here -
- insert fudge here -
- Pogo -
- oh yeah that's a plot point now -
"wait wut" Eclipsanic Unleashed exclaimed as Akira and Pogo magically teleported into the story. "Who are you, where did you come from, and-" "Screw you." Akira said. Pogo chewed on a rock. Eclipsanic Unleashed became offended even though Akira hadn't been talking to him. But before he could scream about some random thing Akira kicked his ass. Literally. He cried and died. "Uh... die?" Lumos said and started disco dancing and hurling disco balls at Pogo. They bounced off of his head, and he looked up as if he was confused as to why something touched his forehead. So he bonked Lumos, who died. Akira said some curse words for no apparent reason.
The end or whatever.
Oct 19, 2022
by
Gau
