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If I EV Train My Alakazam In Defence Would it be crappy

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Yes. It's base defense is very bad, and it shouldn't be used that way. Train it in speed and special attack, as you will then be playing to the strengths of the Pokemon, and have a brutal special sweeper :)

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Ben is back.
Haha yep. I've for only an iPod now though so I can't do things that I could do before, at least, not nearly as swiftly :P