Wall for Talos (page 1)

Alright, Giru.

Well, I got a shiny Regidrago last night, and I mentioned it to my friend, saying that she might not care anyways. She said she didn't really. Then, my brother comes in and mentions he got a shiny Treecko last night and my friend says congrats. What the hell. Now you have to understand the odds are vastly different. My shiny was 1/4096 odds and my brother's was like what, 1/512. Now of course, there are some other factors at play, which I'll mention in my next post.

Well, in Pokemon Violet, I've gotten a bunch of shinies, and because of that, my friend decided that congratulating my shinies wasn't worth it, since I've got so many so frequently, which I understand. Here's the thing though, I haven't played Violet in a while, so I've been getting significantly less shinies, and I've barely even mentioned my recent Violet shinies, so it'd be nice to be congratulated when I ACTUALLY put in work for my shinies. She also says she congratulates my brother because he's a rookie, but still.

Then she says there could be a few exceptions where she would congratulate me. Which is pretty much a straight up lie. I asked her when's the last time she congratulated me on a shiny, she says probably like 9 months ago. I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD VIOLET FOR THAT LONG WHAT THE HELL?! So yeah, now I'm a bit salty, and am starting to questions whether we're truly friends. I've congratulated her on her shinies, mostly because I'm nice and a good friend and because, well, she got a shiny, but are we really friends? Has she ever considered me a friend?

I mean, she can tend to be a bit of a brat, but the fact she congratulated my brother's shiny is what made me snap. It also got me thinking. As this "friend" pretty much has no irl friends, it makes me think, how would she act if she had a best friend who got a bunch of shinies? Would she congratulate her theoretical best friend? What if her actually "best friend" were to mention he got a shiny. I feel like it's because she "likes others more than me" or something. And it sucks, because we've gone a while without any incidents that's caused me to question my friendships. Things were going so well, but I guess things always tend to repeat themselves.

It's probably not. Another thing I thought about is the fact that she congratulated me... on staying up till 6 AM, which is something she hasn't been able to do in a while. She can be SO self-centered, in fact, most of the reason we've been getting along well recently is because I've been catering to HER interests (I mean, I don't have much interests, but that's not the point).

And if those paragraphs seemed like they were copy-pasted from my conversation with an AI like what, 11 days ago? That's because it was.

Is it stupid to get upset over fictional creatures in a video game turning different colors? Yes. But it's what happened.

Thanks for the encouraging words, it really helps. Although is there a reason you mentioned not being someone else? Something like that happened to you?

I'll expand on the Giru thing a bit later.

Also, good luck on finishing the house. Why are your parents building a house, though?

Cool, house-building. It sounds neat to build something, or watch someone build something. And definitely more than a while, haha. I swear I was gonna post on your wall about something (no idea what), but I spaced it.

I've mainly been doing the same old, playing some games, watching Dragon Ball, playing a couple Dragon Ball games... oh, there is one noteworthy thing. I'm writing. I hadn't written in ages because I came to terms with the fact that my attempts at writing (almost) always failed, and I decided not to write fanfiction about whatever phase I was going through because it'd be half-finished AND more than likely embarrassing. I was still writing down some ideas, though. But one night, as I was writing down one of 'em, I realized I was putting quite a lot of detail into it, and on a whim, I decided to write it. The entire couple days, I thought it would randomly die and I'd never work on it again. Then I finished it. Safe to say I was stunned. Yes, it was a short story, but finishing any piece of fanfiction is impressive for me. And a couple weeks ago, I decided to try again and write a new one. I haven't finished it, but I've worked on it every night since and it's getting pretty close to completion. It's also longer than I expected, but working on any fanfic every night since starting it is also incredible for me. I feel like I'll actually finish it, which is certainly something I haven't really felt in years.

...That was a lot of hype for a couple of short fanfics about Dragon Ball children, but it's the achievement that counts I guess.

Woah woah
Building a HOUSE?!

You never told me you were building a house!

Something something Giru didn't congratulate me on my shinies but then went on to congratulate Volt's, I was quite mad at that, I don't feel like telling the whole story. I'm feeling better about the whole Giru thing... and by that I mean I don't hate her. Still don't know if I can call her a friend again though...

Aight, Allison.
So on the last day of school, I got Allison's number with the intention of keeping in touch with her over the summer. First day was great, she responded to my texts... until she suddenly stopped. Couple days later, I sent her a text, she said she wasn't able to respond because she's been busy. Understandable.
Then, fast forward later, and because my dumb*** can't read a Calendar, I thought it was 50 days since Allison responded to my texts (I sent her a couple texts because I really needed a friend while I was going through something that I'm not gonna get into). Well, thankfully, I was wrong, but now, it's been like 41 days? I don't want to keep sending her texts because I don't want to seem super desperate to talk to her. My theory is that she's on vacation, which would be most likely, or she could just be busy, like last time, but 40 days is quite a lot to just be "busy", and I figure it would be common sense to let a friend know you're going on vacation or something, I don't know.

And then, I've been having anxiety... thoughts, because I can't do anxiety. Stuff like "what if she doesn't care about me anymore, what if she doesn't want to be friends". However, I haven't paid much mind to those thoughts. But then I had a recent dream  where I met up with Allison at school and she told me she didn't want to be friends anymore. That was nice (sarcasm).

So yeah, it's just a game of patience, potentially waiting for something that isn't going to happen.

Isn't life amazing?

Mmm, yeah. And Giru.
I'll explain later.

Hi! Been a while, how are you?

Oh, that sucks.
Life's... has it's ups and downs. On the up side, I've been getting some shinies and such. On the down side, I've been questioning my relationships with people I consider friends.

Fine

Yo, how've you been?