Bee Pen Dimension 10 - On The Road Again
"ONE, TWO, THREE, AND MAYBE SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX! MAKING EDGY TEENAGERS AND WE'LL BE KILLING MORE!" As Deathberry Bloodcake edgily tap-danced on stage, her mohawk waving around wildly, Bee Pen's head slumped down. He had been forced to listen to the song on loop for about seventeen hours, and it was weakening his already loose grip on reality. Meanwhile, Shrew Cart started sobbing, worn out from all the shrieking and thrashing she'd been doing. Catherine Mag'enta Alzheimer's Goose Northeast glared at them, and Archibald Benson sighed depressedly. "ALL OF YOU BE QUIET! DEATHBERRY BLOODCAKE IS MY FAVORITE SINGER, YOU PREPS!" Catherine screeched, partially drowning out Deathberry Bloodcake as she sung about typical edgy emo stuff. "LET'S GRAB OUR KNIVES AND STAB TEDDY BEARS AND STUFF AND WRITE THE NAMES OF OUR EMO CRUSHES IN FAKE BLOOD!" "LIKE, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE EDGY DEATH MEMORIES WITH DEATHBERRY BLOODCAKE?! IT'S MY FAVORITE SONG! IT TOTALLY CAPTURES THE DEPRESSING SORROW AND EVILNESS OF BEING A GOTHIC VAMPIRE LIKE ME!" "UNDERNEATH YOUR DARK EMO BASEMENT, THAT'S WHERE WE'LL COMMIT REALLY AWESOME CRIMES, YOU AND ME!" "YOU JUST DON'T WANNA HEAR IT BECAUSE YOU'RE A BUNCH OF UN-EDGY UN-NOT-UNCOOL PEOPLE WHO HATE DEATHBERRY BLOODCAKE FOR EXPRESSING HER VERY DARK AND EDGY SELF!" "WHEN WE'RE WHINING BECAUSE PEOPLE HATE US, IT'S GO! THIS EDGY SONG FILLS MY BLADDER UP WITH PEE!" Just when Bee Pen was about to break his chair off and jump off the nearest bridge while hoping that the river would carry him to a less emo place, a boy suddenly leapt through the air, about four feet above his head, making an annoyingly loud sound that could make glass shatter. Catherine jumped out of her chair and stuck out her arms as if she was going to throw him like he was in a mosh pit or something. However, he missed her by a third of an inch and landed face-flat on the ground. Archibald Benson sighed gothically as Deathberry Bloodcake's horrifically bad music stopped. When the boy stopped whimpering and stood up, a spark of hope... sparked in Bee Pen. Despite the fake fur coat and lime green hair with red and black streaks that dragged along the ground similarly to Catherine's, he looked like Spooky Simp Snake Man. So desperate to get out of the nightmarish dimension he was in that he would even turn to Spooky Simp Snake Man to help him, and temporarily forgetting that he was surrounded by edgy versions of his friends and himself, he nudged Shrew Cart, who seemed to be having a mental breakdown, with his elbow. Her eyes widened as she looked up. "Spooky Simp Snake Man! You're here! How'd you- oh, never mind! Please get us out of here!" she pleaded. But the boy, who wore a name tag with 'Gothic Fanboy Reptile Guy' written on it, looked at her like she was the crazier one. "What are you talking about? My name is Emogo!" he said. At that moment, Bee Pen's single remaining bit of hope for humanity was ripped from him. Gothic Fanboy Reptile Guy went over to Deathberry Bloodcake and started simping for her, but she yelled at him for being off-key and late and fired him. He cried a lot. Bee Pen, deprived of all sanity, suddenly chewed through his ropes and started bashing the chair with a rock until it broke into a million pieces. Archibald Benson and Catherine's jaws dropped. Bee Pen then hugged Shrew Cart, and they dimension-hopped. After a moment of silence, Gothic Fanboy Reptile Guy turned to Deathberry Bloodcake. "You're still fired." she growled. He cried a lot. Again. Meanwhile, in a different dimension, the door of the garage that was attached to the house Mighty Midget had been squatting in opened. Some lights shone from the darkness, and an ice cream truck dramatically flew out into the street, playing that dingy music that ice cream trucks play. Right behind it was a hot pink e-tricycle, plugged into an outlet in the garage by a very long cord. And on that tricycle was a boy wearing a white onesie with pink hearts all over it and a large heart emblem thingy with 'SS' written in large reddish letters that strongly resembled strawberries. His hair waved in the breeze, and he took a deep breath. "I'm Supersimp, and I like to simp a lot! I'm Supersimp, and I like to simp a lot! I'm Supersimp-simp-simp-simp, Supersimp! I'm Super-Super-Super-Supersimp, Supersimp! Yeah, yeah, Supersimp!" Spooky Simp Snake Man sung to the tune of the ice cream truck melody in an extremely repetitive and annoying manner. Mighty Midget gave him a thumbs-up from the window of the ice cream truck, and he smiled before continuing. "Oh, I like to simp, I really love to simp a lot! Yeah, I'm a simp, which is totally something I don't say a lot! I'm really cool because simps are really cool! I like to simp, to gush, and to drool! I am Supersimp, yeah!" The two kids were so caught up with the theme song Spooky Simp Snake Man had come up with on the spot but pretended he'd come up with earlier that they didn't notice Evil Motorcycle Lady and Bald Man McGee's 7'11" son, Bald Man McJunior, tailing them. This time, Mighty Midget also took a deep breath as he joined in. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!" "I'm Supersimp!" Spooky Simp Snake Man sung, following his lead. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!" "I'm Supersimp!" "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh-" "HEY! ARE YOU TWO REALLY THIS STUPID?! EVIL MOTORCYCLE LADY'S TAILING US!" Dark Sky screamed at them from his really cool motorcycle. Both kids jumped, as they hadn't realized that he was there, but ignored him. "I am a simp, and my name is Supersimp!" "Yeah!" "I simp for fruit and strawberry gamer girls!" "Yeah!" "I'm the best simp, except for the girl that I simp for!" "Yeah!" "I'm a superhero, and to the cute anime girls out there: if you're lucky, I'll simp for you too!" "Oh yeah!" Spooky Simp Snake Man used his two non-simping braincells to try to come up with more lines for his 'amazing' theme song, but the plug that was plugged into his e-tricycle came out, and his e-tricycle fell on top of him as he hit the ground. He whimpered, and Dark Sky's face slammed into his handlebars as he slowed to a stop. "Supersimp!" Mighty Midget cried, poking his head out of the ice cream truck window as the melody continued to play. Suddenly, Bee Pen and Shrew Cart appeared in the middle of the road, completely confused. But before anyone could do anything, Evil Motorcycle Lady and Bald Man McJunior drove by, grabbing Spooky Simp Snake Man by his arms and narrowly missing Bee Pen and Shrew Cart. As Mighty Midget gasped, Evil Motorcycle Lady stuck her tongue out at her arch-nemesis and drove off into the distance. "Was that- was that Spooky Simp Snake Man? Bestie, what's going on?!" Shrew Cart shrieked to the equally-clueless Bee Pen, who shrugged. "You know Spooky Simp Snake Man?!" Mighty Midget asked, climbing out of the ice cream truck. "Uh, yeah. Who the heck are you?" "I'm Mighty Midget, and Supersimp- erm, Spooky Simp Snake Man is a friend of mine. We were on our way to stop this crazy simp motorcycle cult and rescue his girlfriend or... whatever we were doing, but they snatched him! Please, you gotta help!" he pleaded, sounding even less like a superhero than usual. Before Bee Pen could reply, he was shoved into the ice cream truck, and Shrew Cart quickly followed. "Come on, we're going to their secret hideout!" Mighty Midget said before zooming off. Dark Sky, thoroughly exasperated, followed after him and his newfound friends. "WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THEIR HIDEOUT IS!" he yelled from his motorcycle again. Bee Pen, broken by the day's events, passed out and dreamed about setting something on fire.
To be continued...
Jul 28, 2022
by
Gau
