Format is AG. Not that it matters, but I was hoping to battle AstroidManiaVideos with this team, so I really want to keep the Lapras because it's his mascot. This is a troll team and if you do not rate it as such (suggest legitimate pokemon and strategies) I WILL downvote you.
Lapras @ Leftovers
Ability: Shell Armor
Jolly Nature
EVs: 252 Atk/252 Spe/4 SpD
- Dragon Dance
- Body Slam
- Waterfall
- Iron Head/Ice Shard/Swagger
Description: I want to paralyze with Body Slam, flinch a lot with Waterfall, and because Lapras' physical move pool is so shallow (because he isn't supposed to be a physical sweeper) my choices are pretty limited.
Jirachi @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Serene Grace
Adamant Nature
EVs: 252 Atk/252 Spe/4 HP
- Iron Head
- Zen Headbutt
- Healing Wish
- Headbutt
Description: Yes, I know regular Headbutt sucks and offers no coverage, but I put it on instead of U-Turn so that this set would be 100% troll and no skill or prediction involved.
Blissey @ Assault Vest
Ability: Serene Grace
Calm Nature
EVs: 252 HP/252 SpA/4 SpD
- Charge Beam
- Shadow Ball
- Water Pulse
- Hyper Voice
Description: I was seriously considering a Choice Scarf Blissey. That shows you how bad this team is
Shuckle @ Chesto Berry
Ability: Contrary
Bold Nature
EVs: 252 HP/28 Def/228 SpD
IVs: 0 Atk
- Infestation
- Toxic
- Shell Smash
- Rest
Description: The epitome of trolliness
Metagross-Mega @ Metagrossite
Ability: Clear Body-->Tough Claws
Timid Nature
EVs: 252 Spe/252 SpA/4 Def
IVs: 0 Atk
- Psychic
- Shadow Ball
- Flash Cannon
- Hidden Power (Fire)
Description: A special sweeper Mega Metagross. Yeah. I can already hear you screaming at me
Pyroar @ Choice Band
Ability: Moxie
Adamant Nature
EVs: 252 Atk/252 Spe/4 Def
- Crunch
- Return
- Flare Blitz
- Wild Charge/Iron Tail
Description: Absolutely terrible in every way