Full House Lameheadedness
It was a regular day. Gill was playing Go Fish with Pika and Luke, which they had been doing for eleven hours and didn't realize it was now eight AM. How they were still awake was a mystery, and it was one that would never be solved. They eventually decided to play poker instead. But suddenly, the door was knocked over. "DERP I'M PYRA AND I LIKE PARLOR SWIPPLE AND ENNETH" said the person who had knocked the door over. Gill facepalmed heavily. "I WANNA PLAY DERPING POKER" she screamed and sat down on a tiny chair that was made out of an N. They decided that, instead of throwing her out, they'd take all of her money by beating her at poker. Of course, Pyra sucked at it because she not only held her cards sideways but some of them were flipped away from her, so she couldn't see what cards they were. She bet incredible amounts of money but promptly lost that money as Pika, Luke, and Gill split it up among themselves. By now, she was a triggered REE Hauhead. "DORP WHY CAN'T I WIN IF I DON'T WIN I'LL PEE MY PANTS" However, no matter how much she peed her pants, it somehow didn't make her win. Now she was betting N and Parlor Swipple's money, and the frocky whee heads were rich. Pika casually sung songs very loudly. "I DON'T LIKE THIS DEORPING GAME ANYMORE LET'S PLAY SOMETHING ELSE" Pyra said. "OK, let's play Lame Maid. The goal of the game is to win by giving you cards that say 'lamehead' on them and beating you up." Gill recommended cheerfully. "OK MUCH DERPING BETTER" So they played Lame Maid. However, Pyra kept glancing at Gill's hand, which was not only cheating but invading his personal space, as he really didn't like lameheads getting anywhere near him. "DORP I WANT YOUR HAND" she said. "OK, here's my cards." he replied, and handed them to her. All the cards said 'lamehead' on them, so she was just going to get beat up more. "THANKS NOW I WANT YOUR DERPING HAND IN MARRIAGE" There was dead silence, as they didn't know if she was just being stupider than ever or if she was being stupidly serious. Either way, Pika and Luke cracked up. However, Pyra was being stupidly serious and tried to kiss Gill, who then shoved a pan down her intestine and everyone beat her up. Then they shoved her into a rocket and blasted her off to the moon. She landed in the middle of X's moon house and said "OMG X I WANT TO DORPING MARRY YOU" "Ah yes indeed!" X replied and they got married on the moon. X decided to avenge Pyra's poker losses and sped down to Earth. "Ah yes! You're the oddly specific oxymoronical ones who defeated my wife Pyra at poker!" he said when he went inside Pika's house. "Perchance, perchance, per-cha-cha-cha-chance, perchance-chance-chance!" Pika said in a singsongy voice. No one had any idea why she sung 'perchance' repeatedly, but she had. X was mad, but they ignored him as he yelled at them 24/7. Then Chase randomly yeeted himself through the window and screamed "WHO DUG UP THE GRAVE OF SOMEONE I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF AND WHY" "We did and because we wanted to play Go Fish in a grave." Pika replied. "Oh." "Ah yes, Chase, my friend! We must avenge Pyra in an oddly specific manner!" X said. "No thanks I've got to go marry Harvest Moon's version of Pika see ya later." Chase replied before crawling up the chimney to escape. X jaw dropped. "AH YES I WANTED TO MARRY MAYA INSTEAD!" he screeched. "OMG X DERP" Pyra screamed before falling through the ceiling. "YOU'RE DORPiNG CHEATING ON ME SO I MUST SING PARLOR SWIPPLE SONGS THAT GO LIKE ABABABABABABABAB TOOOOOOT TURD ENNETHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" "AH YES! PYRA! I APOLOGIZE!" The frocky whee heads had to watch Pyra be mad at X and X try to apologize to Pyra for four hours before X became so distraught he left and blasted off to the moon. Then Gill stuffed an exploding Hauhead N down Pyra's throat and she imploded epically as the frocky whee heads bought insane things with their money and rode Primal into the sunset.
The end.
Feb 28, 2021
by
Gau
