Harvest Moon: Lamehead Parade
Pika was sitting on the doorstep of a house. She was waiting until eight o' clock so the door would be unlocked and she could barge into Gill's bedroom for the millionth time and try to shove a bar of gold down his throat despite it not being a food item so they'd be better friends and she could get his wish so she could ring the Purple Bell, and it's safe to say that his wish was that she would not barge into his bedroom for the millionth time and try to shove a bar of gold down his throat despite it not being a food item so they'd be better friends and she could get his wish so she could ring the Purple Bell. She considered going in through the window, but then heard something. She wandered over to the pier to see Parlor Swipple 'singing'. "OH I PEEEEEEEED IN MY SHOOOOOOE AND ONTO MY KNEEEEEEE THOUGH I'M NOT SURE HOW TO DERPING PEEEEEEEEEE I'M TOO SMART FOR THAT BUT I PEEEEEEEEEEED AND IT'S STILL IN MY SHOOOOOOOE AND I LOVE ENNETHHHHHHHHHH WHO IS A PEE TURD INCARNATE" She was trying to impress the crowd. But aside from Pika the only other person there was Toby who was fishing and didn't even notice Parlor Swipple was there. So she began to sing a rap remix of Luke Killied My Boyfriend. And when she got to the 'ABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABAB' part, Toby noticed she was there and hit her with a fish, knocking her dentures out. He then went back to fishing and forgot Parlor Swipple was there. "AVVVVV AV DOV HAV M DEVTUR DORP" Parlor Swipple screamed. Gill finally came out of his house and noticed, to his relief, that Pika wasn't there. He then went down to the pier to see Parlor Swipple singing songs without her dentures to a perfectly oblivious Toby as Pika rolled on the ground in laughter. He walked over to her dentures, which were actually tiny Smart Toilets, and stomped on them before trying to walk away. However he tripped over Pika and fell into the sea. Pika snatched Toby's fishing rod away and casted the line, trying to catch a Gill. When she finally hooked him by the shirt collar, he was dragged out slightly and had a fish sticking out of his mouth and a mermaid tail instead of feet. He spat out the fish and said "I hope you're happy." Pika went crazy laughing again. Toby snatched back his rod and hooked Pika by her shirt collar before forgetting Pika was on his line and thrusting the line into the water. By the time he got a bite, he reeled it in and Pika had forty different fish stuck to her. She glared at him from underneath her coating of fish. Parlor Swipple was very much mad and stormed off before finding a girl who was only slightly less ugly than herself. "OMPEE I'M SELENA DORP" said the girl. "I'M THE DERPING STAR PEE KAY I MEAN ENNETH I MEAN TURD HED" Parlor Swipple replied. They then got into a discussion about how mean Pika was. Pika was currently being grilled, literally, by Toby on the beach, but they didn't know nor did they care. They decided that they'd beat Pika up, so they stormed to the beach. Pika was toasted golden and all the fish were grilled as well. She was very tired of being tied up and roasted over an open flame, but there wasn't much she could do about it. "DORP PIKA WE'RE GOING TO BEAT YOU UP" Parlor Swipple and Selena cried, rushing toward them. Just then, Toby decided to fish some more. However, he thrust his line in the exact opposite direction of the sea by accident and it hooked Selena's eyeball. So of course he reeled it in. Then he looked at it, confused, and decided he'd have eyeball for dinner before putting it over the flame instead of Pika, who looked like she had a severe tan. She touched her hand with another hand and said "Cool! I'm still warm!" before snatching merman-Gill out of the sea and huggling him and shoving a gold bar down his throat. Selena and Parlor Swipple ran off so Selena could get a new eyeball. However, Toby then ate her eyeball and cast his line very far. He managed to hook Selena and now roasted her over the flame while Pika decorated her head with algae. After Toby was done eating half of her, they shoved her remaining half into a rocket, along with Julius, Parlor Swipple, and N. It blasted off into space and exploded. They all cheered as Toby grilled and ate the rocket's remains, oblivious to what 'fish' he was eating and why it tasted so crunchy.
The end.
Feb 25, 2021
by
Gau
