Whee Primal mastery of Gladion's beautiful green jacket with crystal-like blue eyes [Oh yay the Whee Primal mastery of Gladion's jacket and eyes- WAIT HE DOESN'T HAVE BLUE EYES] focused more tightly and Yvonne held onto something disturbing you need to sacrifice my cousin X's office tomorrow [Welp gotta sacrifice X's office. Send in the screes.] is my magical stabbing and pressed against noodles and then pulled down the bathtub [How, pray tell, do you pull down a bathtub?] as she affectionately nuzzled my phone died in McDonalds happy meals [Why was your phone in a happy meal, exactly?] with her eyes fixed on Friday night when females become part of the sandwich [WOO-HOO FRIDAY NIGHT FEMALE SANDWICHES] from her husband who Lillie is an orphanage in our noses [WOW I HAVE A LILLIE ORPHANAGE IN MY NOSE?!] at Junior Pika grabbed the bathroom with a powerful movement of her ribs that tried to convince me to pick my face [Junior Pika? Grabbed the bathroom? Powerful rib movement? WHY DID IT TRY TO CONVINCE YOU TO PICK YOUR FACE?! WHAT IS FACE-PICKING?!] I felt timid souls who will eventually become increasingly complex on the bridge [Ah yes bridge-complex timid souls whee.]
Dec 24, 2020
by
Gau
X And The Magical Colin Takeover
It was a regular day for X. He had gone out to chat with Y and some others before heading home. But when he opened the door, he beheld a sight he had never seen before: hundreds and hundreds of agate gray-eyed ten year old boys were everywhere. These were the Magical Colins. They noticed X, who almost jumped out a window but decided to leave through the door. He smashed in a number on his phone, 123-000-WHEE, and it was answered by Pika. "Hel-yo?" she asked with a weird tone of voice. "PIKA! THERE'S A BUNCH OF TEN YEAR OLD BOYS WITH AGATE GRAY EYES TAKING OVER MY HOUSE! DO SOMETHING!" he yelled, more angry than desperate. "Ten year olds, agate gray- ohhhhhhhhh. Uh, just a sec." He heard her say something to someone, and the phone was answered again, this time by Primal. "I heard from Pika. I yeeted the Magical Colins at your house. I didn't know they would take over." Primal muttered. "WHAT DO I DO?!" "You could stuff 'em in a HeadX truck and ship 'em to me. I'd quite like a Magical Colin farm." Pika answered. Then she began to speak broad Yorkshire, which X understood very little of. Suddenly, a thudding sound reached his ears. His jaw dropped as hundreds of Magical Hauheads charged at him. He couldn't get out of the way and was trampled as they charged into the house. But, somehow, he was unharmed. The Magical Hauheads attacked the Magical Colins, erupting into a small one-house war. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! THEY'RE WARRING WITH MAGICAL HAUHEADS NOW!" X screamed into the phone. The Magical Colins yeeted X's fridge, which had fourty Magical Hauheads trapped in it, out a window. The Magical Colins were winning. "I'm coming, I'm coming..." Pika moaned into the phone before hanging up. Then a Magical Aurora and Magical Parlor Swipple knocked X over and charged into his house, trying to devour the Magical Colins. But one of the Magical Colins shoved a stick of dynamite down Parlor Swipple's throat. It exploded, and she flew through X's ceiling, shouting "DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!" very loudly. She eventually crashed back down, unconscious. The Magical Aurora spit out one of the Magical Colin's shoes and fled. "HI RAJAH BOYS!" came Pika's scream as she flew through X's window, shattering it. She let out a strangled 'whee' as she lied on the floor. The Magical Colins looked at each other before making a pile of unconscious Magical Hauheads and stuffing Magical Parlor Swipple in as well. They also tossed the half-conscious Pika on top of the pile. The leader of the Magical Colins stood on top of the pile, victorious. "My spine..." Pika whimpered. X was outraged when he saw that the leader of the Magical Colins was wearing his 'EPICAL' crown, a priceless artifact from the Toople Pleat family. He went inside his house, steaming, as the Magical Colins eyed him with curiousity. "GIVE ME BACK MY EPICAL CROWN, YOU BUNCH OF AGATE BRATS!" he yelled angrily. The leader of the Magical Colins jumped down from the pile of mostly unconscious people. He looked X up and down and spoke. "Who might you be?" "I OWN THIS HOUSE AND THAT CROWN! SO GIVE THEM TO ME!" "No. This is our house now. That giant blue whale sent us this way. It was magic that drew us here." the Magical Colin leader said. "MAGIC SCHMAGIC GIVE ME BACK MY FRICKING HOUSE! Y'S GOING TO VISIT AND I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS STEALING HER FROM ME!" Pika fell off of the pile and got to her feet, looking quite the worse for wear. She walked up to X, got all up in his face, and said "Shut it." X was furious. "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! THIS ISN'T YOUR HOUSE!" "Wrong! This is gonna be the location of my Magical Colin farm! You can live on a farm forever and do farm stuff with Y on actual farmland!" "YOU'RE JUST LETTING THEM STAY HERE BECAUSE COLIN'S YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER FROM THE SECRET GARDEN!" "Yeah, and also because I'm the founder of the Colin > X club! So shut!" Then a loud scream reached their ears. They ran outside to see N in a giant mech that had 'N x Parlor Swipple' and 'DERP' painted on it. He stuffed Y in a cage as well as the leader of the Magical Colins by using his giant robot arms. "OMG Y!" X screamed. "OMG Y, SCHOMG DIE!" Pika mocked before calling Primal on her phone, his number being 456-000-SCREE. "DERORP! I AM N AND I GO DERRRRP DORP I'M GONNA EAT A MAGICAL COLIN FOR DINNER!" N screamed. "NOOOOOO HE HAS MY CROWN!" X screamed. The Magical Colin leader had a look on his face that said 'oh for the love of god'. Y let out screams, sounding like that Goodheart girl from Captain Proton on Star Trek. X let out girly screams as well, as if they were trying to communicate. Then it began to rain, and Primal fell from the sky, screaming "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!", before Origin Pulsing the N x Parlor Swipple mech. "OMDERP!" N screamed. Suddenly, Magical Colins poured out from the house and began to attack N's mech. They punched it, kicked it, infiltrated it, busted controls, ripped out wires, and so on. N fell out of his mech, and the door to the cage opened. The leader of the Magical Colins and Y ran out. The mech exploded after all the Colins had gotten away from it. N stared in horror before the Magical Colin leader smashed the 'EPICAL' crown over his head. It broke into multiple peices and N fled. X was upset that the crown was gone, but, he thought, at least he had Y. But then something horrific happened. Y started to flirt with the leader of the Magical Colins. "Y WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" X screamed as the Magical Colin leader looked like he wanted to run away and never come back. "THIS MAGICAL COLIN HAS AN ARMY SO I'M DIVORCING YOU TO MARRY HIM!" Y replied happily. X fell to his knees, all the energy knocked out of him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed. Pika ran off and came back, driving a HeadX truck. "GET IN, MAGICAL COLINS! YOU DON'T WANNA END UP LIKE X AND POOR LEMONADE!" she screamed. The Magical Colins got into the back of her truck, with the leader getting in one of the front seats. Primal also got in, and she drove off. Y let out a scream just like X's, and they spent the rest of their lives marrying and divorcing each other.
The end.
Dec 24, 2020
by
Gau
